Comics and posts about whining | Bassist Wanted

Pompous little indie douchebag

TONY: Sorry about that. I thought once we got you in the room with that Rock Band guy, we'd be good...
KEVIN: Ugh, "Alex Rigopulos!" What a pompous little indie DOUCHEBAG.

TONY: Look, it doesn't matter. We'll just pitch to Guitar Hero now, OK?
KEVIN: Yeah, let's talk to the ORIGINAL music game! Not some cheap COPY!

TONY: Well... Alex and his company actually invented Guitar Hero, too.

KEVIN: Bah... I hate it when douchebags are successful.
TONY: As do I.

Reworking the deadline

Last verse of “Electric Wheelchair” complete! First song-a-day song: done!
DAN: Hey, by the way, I can’t meet to write tomorrow.

JOHN: And I'm busy Wednesday. Well, long as we do seven songs by next Monday, righyt?
DAN: Yeah. Yeah, totally.

JOHN: Or you know... no one knows about this song-a-day deadline... I could see, like, song-a-week working.
DAN: Ooo, or song-a-fortnight.

JOHN: Yeah... something we can follow through on, you know?
DAN: Hey, by the way, I'm gone all of February.

A thousand crappy works of art

JOHN: Let's attack it like this: rather than put pressure on ourselves to try and write the perfect song, let's just commit to writing one new song every day.

JOHN: I've heard that any artist has, like, a thousand crappy works of art in them, and the sooner you get those out, you know, the sooner you do the awesome stuff.

DAN: That's cool. So, like, every bad song we write is actually helpful.
JOHN: Yeah, exactly.

DAN: So "Cathartic Target Practice" was like the most helpful song ever.
JOHN: "Cathartic Target Practice" is a misunderstood... look, let's just get started...

Happy with the mix

AGENT: OK, so we're good now? You're both happy with what we're doing with the song?
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yes.

AGENT: Kevin's parts have been removed entirely.
KEVIN EDO: Right, I'm not involved at ALL.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, NO guitar.

AGENT: We're putting it as the 8th of 10 songs on the album.
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fine, bury it. But it's ON the album.

AGENT: And the song will be titled "Kevin Edo is an egotistical asshole".
GORDON CRANWICK: YES.
KEVIN EDO: Call it whatever you like, NO one listens past track 5....

I want it in writing

KEVIN EDO: Don't take that the wrong way, Gordon, I just--
GORDON CRANWICK: Excuse me?! I can't believe-- I want that in writing, Kevin.

KEVIN EDO: Come on, look--
GORDON CRANWICK: No, here: "I, Kevin Edo, state that Gordon Cranwick's songwriting lacks heart." Sign it!

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I'm not signing this, Gordon, when, when....

KEVIN EDO: You know, it's not so much "heart" as it is "emotion."
GORDON CRANWICK: Make whatever changes you like! I'll initial them!

Outdoor concerts

BRETT: Why again do I go to summer outdoor concerts? The bugs? The overpriced, warm beer? The obnoxious, sweaty, all ages crowd?

BRETT: The bands look like ants from here, and the songs sound either poorly rehearsed or banal and mechanical. This is lame, Greg. This is totebags lame.

GREG: Well, but when you have kids, you get to tell them you saw this band live.

BRETT: Screw my kids, man. I'm getting a slurpee.
GREG: Yeah... mmph. This opening band has me considering a vasectomy.

First music you bought

GREG: Man, my dad just told me the first music he ever bought was Revolver!! Freakin' Revolver, man! So cool....

BRETT: Nice. What was your first?
GREG: I... I think it was a 45 of "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."

BRETT: Good Lord.

BRETT: Look, if anyone else ever asks you that, just like and sat Surfer Rosa, dude....
GREG: It also might have been a cassingle of "Shoop"...

Time estimates for the concert tonight

GREG: OK. So. Doors open at 7. Opening band starts at 8.
BRETT: They're done at 9:30. The main band goes on at 10.

GREG: They play all the crappy songs off their new album for an hour.
BRETT: They play old, crowd-pleasing radio hits until 11:30.

GREG: We get there at midnight, to catch the encore with the heartfelt acoustic number.
BRETT: ...and the showstopping cover of some Kinks' song.

GREG: OK, great... hey, which band are we seeing again?
BRETT: I forget. I think they were big in the 90's. Or 80's.

Buying a CD/consumer revolution

GREG: Do you know why I'm here in this damn Tower Records buying this album? Because I support this band. Because I believe in this band.

GREG: Because I want to be part of a full-scale consumer revolution that brings them to their rightful place as the kings of God damn rock n' roll!!!

CHLORIS: That'll be $18.99.
GREG: Do you take credit cards, my friend!?

BRETT: Can I burn that from you later?
GREG: Sure, man... make a copy for Kim, too.
CHLORIS: This is coming up as declined, sir.

First time at North 6th

JOHN: Wow... our first show at North 6th! Man, this rules.
DAN: Hey look! Someone's scalping tickets!

JOHN: Hey man, how much are these going for?
BEN: I dunno, at this point, I guess like $3 each.

BEN: They're been kinda hard to unload. People just don't wanna pay to see one good band and one crappy little local band.

JOHN: Hey... we are that crappy little local band, man.
BEN: OK... well, I could knock it down to $4 for both, but that's about it...