Comics and posts about TOP FIVE | Page 7 | Bassist Wanted

How to tell when you graduated

DRM 9000: Out of curiosity, Greg, did you graduate college in 1999?
GREG: Yeah... how did you...?

DRM 9000: A simple bell curve analysis of the release dates of your music collection reveals a statistical peak from November '95 to March '99.

DRM 9000: Ergo... class of '99.
GREG: What? No... I've bought a ton of music since college, I... no...

DRM 9000: Your "Pavement/Shins Ratio" also puts you solidly in the '99 bucket.
GREG: Th-there's a Decemberists CD on my dresser! Make sure you counted that!!

Desperate plea

GREG: (to robot) Let me out of here! Ow! Quit that! Let— DRM 9000:

GREG: (yelling) BRETT!! Is that you? HELP!! Ow! I'm being held hostage by a Sony DRM robot! It's got me strapped to my chair and it's making me buy CDs, ow, against my will.

GREG: (to robot) Ha, hear that? My roommate's here! Ow! Game over, robot! Ha!

BRETT: This... is not my fight.
GREG: Hey Brett?! You there? BRE-- Ow! It is a REAL BEARD, will you PLEASE quit pulling on it?

Roni sets priorities

RONI: No way, our rehearsal can't end at 3am. I'll be dead at work the next day.
JOHN: A ha! So we see where your priorities are, Roni!

RONI: Yes, John! I prioritize the job that I LOVE, that pays my RENT, over a hobby of mine that I ENJOY but that doesn't CONSUME me like it does YOU, you SELF-ABSORBED, CLUELESS ASSHOLE!

DAN: Whoa. She used the H-word.
JOHN: "H-... hobby"?

Only way to buy tickets

CARLOS: Can't... can't we buy tickets on the band's site? Or... or through the venue?
STEPHEN: No. Look, I'm sorry, OK? This is the only way.

CARLOS: I just... I hate using them. I hate it.
STEPHEN: I know, I know, but we have no choice... just click "submit".

SOUND EFFECT: KRAKOW! TICKETMASTER DEMON: Who dares summon the great and powerful Ticketmaster!

CARLOS: We... (sigh) we want White Stripes tickets.
TMDEMON: Then you will pay, mortal!!! First, a $6 service fee for every letter in your middle name!!!

Emo

JOHN: We are what kids like, Joey. We're exactly wh-... well. Hold on.

JOHN: Guys, are we an "emo" band? You know... "emotional"?
DAN: Umm....
CHRISTINA: Hmm.

CHRISTINA: Um.... W-well... I cried during "Life as a House".

JOHN: We're emo, Joey. Wicked emo. Hella emo...
DAN: Is Kevin Kline good in that?
CHRISTINA: Christina: Yeah. Yeah, he is.