Comics and posts about solo shows | Bassist Wanted

Why the fans showed up

TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you should know-
GORDON CRANWICK: That was great to do a SOLO SET! My fans really SHOWED UP, too!

TONY KING THE AGENT: Yeah, Gordon, but-
GORDON CRANWICK: People know I'm not just Kevin Edo's backing band! They RESPECT ME!
TONY KING THE AGENT: GORDON!

TONY KING THE AGENT: I... had to promise Kevin would do an autograph line to get fans to show up.
KEVIN EDO: Hello Gordon.

TONY KING THE AGENT: I HAD to, man! If I send tweets without Kevin's name, PEOPLE UNSUBSCRIBE!
KEVIN EDO: Maybe I'll play some of my solo stuff first to sorta CLEANSE THEIR PALETTES...

Manufacturing indie cred

TONY KING THE AGENT: OK, Gordon... we replaced the ACTUAL intimate folk open mic audience with industry YES-MEN, your TWITTER followers and paid BACKGROUND ACTORS.

TONY KING THE AGENT: We've also GUTTED the club and put in TVs, LIGHTING and a state-of-the-art $500,000 SOUNDSYSTEM.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK...

GORDON CRANWICK: This'll still give me INDIE CRED though, right?

TONY KING THE AGENT: SURE, SURE... we just gotta phrase the press release carefully, big guy...
GORDON CRANWICK: BLEAH! These melons are too FRESH!!

Laying down some crowdtalk

GORDON CRANWICK: (singing) Creatioooon of broooken- Oops, lemme take that again...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Ha! Kinda tough when it's not PRERECORDED, huh, man? STICK TO STADIUMS, SELLOUT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Be COOL, Gordon... This is that classic AUDIENCE INTERACTION you get in small venue shows. We just gotta lay some charming CROWDTALK on him, like you did in the old days.

GORDON CRANWICK: SECURITY, get this little ASSTOASTER out of my SIGHT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Guess that crowdtalk muscle has ATROPHIED a little...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: HEY, you can't just- OW!! Hands off the DREADS, dude!!!

No show for Gordo

GORDON CRANWICK: There's no one fucking HERE, Colin!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: We don't get big crowds. I TOLD you that.

GORDON CRANWICK: But Gordon Cranwick of Jumpstart Malady is doing a surprise impromptu acoustic SOLO SET!!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you said NOT to advertise it.

GORDON CRANWICK: I figured you wouldn't be able to contain yourself!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Yes, well... sadly I successfully contained myself.

GORDON CRANWICK: I've been practicing for this impromptu set for weeks!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Look, we gotta get started. They do a Guitar Hero tournament in here at 9...

Small venue lighting

GORDON CRANWICK: You do a folk open mic, you said? I love it. This is REAL. Where's your lighting grid?
WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Lighting grid?

SOUND: (flip)

SOUND: (flip)

WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: That's our lighting grid.
GORDON CRANWICK: You people live like animals. I love it. I WILL bring some lights though...

Scoping out the folk open mic

GORDON CRANWICK: I LOVE the feel of this. Small. INTIMATE.
WHITE DUDE WITH DREADS: Thanks. Yeah, we just do a little open mic for folk musicians.

GORDON CRANWICK: I'd like to come in next week. Don't do anything different. I want to keep this... ROUGH... honest.
WHITE DUDE WITH DREADS: No problem.

GORDON CRANWICK: I WILL need to tape off about 70 seats for industry, entourage.
WHITE DUDE WITH DREADS: OK, well... we only HAVE 30 seats.

GORDON CRANWICK: OK, 30 then. What's your soundsystem like?
WHITE DUDE WITH DREADS: Well, our soundsystem is: I'll try to keep people quiet while you play.

Gordon’s solo shows

GORDON CRANWICK: I wanna get back to my INDIE ROOTS. Play some SOLO shows. INTIMATE: just ME and my GUITAR.
KEVIN EDO: And your ASSISTANT.

GORDON CRANWICK: FINE. Still... INTIMATE: just ME, my GUITAR and my ASSISTANT.
KEVIN EDO: And your SOUND guy, VIDEOGRAPHER and STYLIST.

GORDON CRANWICK: Fine: ME, my GUITAR, my ASSISTANT, my SOUND guy, my-
KEVIN EDO: And your NUTRITIONIST, SECURITY detail, PETS, pet WRANGLERS...

GORDON CRANWICK: INTIMACY is not defined by a, uh, a NUMBER, Kevin!
KEVIN EDO: Good, cos I ballpark you at about 35 or 40 now. NOT including craft services.