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Sex

A topic in 7 comics.

Bonus material

Sep 17, 2009

TED: Dad, I don't wanna play your band's version of Guitar Hero...
KEVIN: Just check it out! I made 'em put in BONUS MATERIAL, just for YOU!
KEVIN: Like this cut scene...
TED: What the HELL is this?
KEVIN: This is me and your mom DOIN' IT for the first time, buddy...
TED: Wow... You're damaging my childhood. In 1080p.
KEVIN: Man, they really rendered the bathrooms at Irving Plaza PERFECTLY...

Motion capture for Guitar Hero

Sep 7, 2009

TYLER THE MOCAP GUY: ...and one last one... let's see you do a SOLO...
KEVIN: OK...
TYLER THE MOCAP GUY: GREAT! So now your in-game Guitar Hero avatar will match your movements exactly.
KEVIN: Hey, can I ask a FAVOR?
TYLER THE MOCAP GUY: Oh, of COURSE, Mr. Edo!
KEVIN: I'd love it if you could mo-cap me simulating sex in one of these.
KEVIN: My publicist could produce my fake sex tapes SOOOO much easier.
TYLER THE MOCAP GUY: Sure, sure... Jenny? You wanna jump in a suit and hump Mr. Edo, please?

Kevin has a son

Aug 23, 2009

KEVIN: Seeing those groupies really made me think about FAMILY... DId you know I have a SON?
JADE: Yeah, with ME. WE have a son. WYATT.
KEVIN: Oh yeah... WYATT. He's the one we conceived during that REALITY SHOW.
JADE: Uh huh. And then I sold the sex tape.
KEVIN: He's in JAIL, isn't he?
JADE: Oh YES. Yes, very much so.
KEVIN: Well, anyway, I guess I meant I have, like, a NORMAL son, too...
JADE: That's COOL...

We’re artists

Feb 16, 2009

BOY BAND DUDE: We're ARTISTS!
BART: You're a boy band.
BOY BAND DUDE: We WON'T make ringtones!
BART: You're under contract.
BOY BAND DUDE: To make MUSIC!
BART: Ringtones ARE music.
BOY BAND DUDE: We have IDEALS!
BART: You have sex tapes.
BOY BAND DUDE: Sex tapes... launch CAREERS!
BART: Not sex tapes with old, hairy Cincinnati pretzel vendors.
BOY BAND DUDE: We're... ARTISTS...

Teaching a rock star to Twitter

Feb 13, 2009

TONY THE AGENT: So you just text or IM your updates to your Twitter account, and fans follow it so they can experience your day-to-day life.
TONY THE AGENT: I've been running it, but I think you should take it over now.
TONY THE AGENT: Seems easy enough... Oh SHIT. This kid... I KNOW this kid.
TONY THE AGENT: Christ, how'm I supposed to tell this kid I screwed his mom backstage at our show in Billings?
TONY THE AGENT: Well, you use the @ symbol, and then his username...
TONY THE AGENT: Oh, OK. This IS easy...

Grad school

Sep 16, 2008

KEVIN EDO: Um... I dunno if I "planned" to be a rock star. I mean... did you "plan" to do your job?
SEX TAPE STUDENT: Well, I go to grad school right now.
KEVIN EDO: Oh yeah? What for?
SEX TAPE STUDENT: I'm learning how to blackmail rock stars with sex tapes.
SEX TAPE STUDENT: Fucking you is part of my independent study course actually.
KEVIN EDO: So that's why you had me fill out this little survey.
SEX TAPE STUDENT: And can you sign this? My professor's a real timesheet Nazi.

Married people can’t do weekends

Oct 26, 2005

CHRISTINA: I... I can't rehearse on Fridays.
RONI: You married people are so protective of your weekends.
JOHN: Heh. Maybe that's when their sex is scheduled.
DAN: Heh.
CHRISTINA: N-no... the only scheduled sex we have is after these band rehearsals. Playing drums sort of... sort of "gets me going."
DAN: Christina.... Ew.
DAN: Well, rehearsal on any day feels weird now....
CHRISTINA: I think it's that double foot pedal.
JOHN: Roni.... Does she stare at my butt while I sing?
RONI: No one EVER stares at your butt, John.

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