Skip to content
  • About
  • Comics

Scrapbooking

A topic in 8 comics.

This isn’t a CD

Apr 19, 2010

JAMES: This isn't a CD. It's a bunch of construction paper and GLITTER. JOHN: Uh, NO, it's a SCRAPBOOK and it's work of ART.
JAMES: We didn't order a SCRAPBOOK. We paid you to reproduce our CD. JOHN: Oh, no, I destroyed your CD.
JAMES: That was our MASTER! JOHN: It was GARBAGE. THIS captures the essence of your band.
JAMES: THIS is our album cover surrounded by pictures of a baby in a LOBSTER costume! JOHN: It's... SO much more... Did you even READ the puffy paint?

Scrapbooked EP cover

Mar 16, 2010

DAN: C'mon, John. We gotta get to rehearsal. JOHN: Man, EFF rehearsal... I'm working on a cover for our E.P.
DAN: It's got glitter and hearts and... UNICORNS all over it... JOHN: Yeah... one of the scrapbookers helped me lay it out.
JOHN: Isn't it GREAT? It really captures the raw emotion of our live shows.
DAN: The puffy paint says, "Friendship is: hot cocoa on a cold day." JOHN: THAT (sniff) THAT is rock music, man.

The art of scrapbooking

Mar 15, 2010

SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet? JOHN: I got one of my mom.
SCRAPPER: OK. Here she is on a blank sheet of paper. Feel anything? JOHN: No. Not really.
SOUND: Glitter! Stars! Serrated edges! Double-sided tape! Puffy paint! Hearts! Scissors! Glue sticks! More glitter!
SCRAPPER: How about... NOW? JOHN: (sniff) NO... (blubber) I... I have to use the (full-on crying) r-restroom...

Artists vs. hobbyists

Mar 14, 2010

JOHN: The difference between me and you scrapbookers is that I am an ARTIST. You all are HOBBYISTS. SCRAPPER: We're BOTH artists and we're BOTH hobbyists!
JOHN: I am NOT a hobbyist... SCRAPPER: Do you make a living from your band?
JOHN: As a matter of fact I DO. SCRAPPER: Then why are you working at Kinko's?
JOHN: I happen to have a deep respect for the printed word. SCRAPPER: Well... the PHOTOCOPIED word...

I am an artist

Mar 13, 2010

SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts. JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.
SCRAPPER: Really? JOHN: YES. I AM. I happen to be in a VERY successful local band.
SCRAPPER: REALLY?
JOHN: I happen to be in a MODERATELY successful local band. SCRAPPER: There we go...

Scrapper

Jan 20, 2010

SCRAPPER: And then I need this laminated and cut to match the others. JOHN: No problem…
JOHN: Dan's crazy. These scrapbooker ladies aren't prima donnas. I actually think it's cool they're so creative with-
SCRAPPER: What the FUCK are you doing with pinking shears, IDIOT? SOUND: WHAP JOHN: OW!
JOHN: It begins. SCRAPPER: Did I MENTION sawtoothed edges? DID I, ASSHOLE?

The scrapbooking menace

Jan 18, 2010

DAN: These scrapbookers think they're these creative GENIUSES, but they don't know how to use the EQUIPMENT, even though they need it to make their "art".
DAN: They make us do ALL the work, for something THEY take all the credit for, and they treat us like SHIT while they do it. It's... it's HORRIBLE, man.
DAN: They're like... a lead singer in a band. JOHN: Like me in our band?
DAN: Well, like you, but like you if you weren't so BADASS... JOHN: That DOES sound scary...

Customer service

Jan 15, 2010

JOHN: … and I'm best suited for, oh, customer relations. KINKO'S BOSS: Well, that's perfect, dipshit. I'll put you on some of our BEST customers.
DAN: WHOA... KINKO'S BOSS: That's RIGHT, Lepp. Your little idiot SINGER friend is now an Assistant Customer Service Rep…
KINKO'S BOSS: ...in charge of SCRAPBOOKERS!
KINKO'S BOSS: A HA HA HA HA HA! Heh... .. DAN: That's, like, a REALLY shitty role, man. JOHN: Yeah, I GATHERED, Dan.

Join the Patreon Now

Get PATREON-EXCLUSIVE graphic novels as they're made, plus comic strips, custom illustrations, and more!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Bassist Wanted

  • About
  • Comics
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
© 2023, Porter Mason, All Rights Reserved.