Comics and posts about scrapbooking | Bassist Wanted

This isn’t a CD

JAMES: This isn't a CD. It's a bunch of construction paper and GLITTER.
JOHN: Uh, NO, it's a SCRAPBOOK and it's work of ART.

JAMES: We didn't order a SCRAPBOOK. We paid you to reproduce our CD.
JOHN: Oh, no, I destroyed your CD.

JAMES: That was our MASTER!
JOHN: It was GARBAGE. THIS captures the essence of your band.

JAMES: THIS is our album cover surrounded by pictures of a baby in a LOBSTER costume!
JOHN: It's... SO much more... Did you even READ the puffy paint?

Scrapbooked EP cover

DAN: C'mon, John. We gotta get to rehearsal.
JOHN: Man, EFF rehearsal... I'm working on a cover for our E.P.

DAN: It's got glitter and hearts and... UNICORNS all over it...
JOHN: Yeah... one of the scrapbookers helped me lay it out.

JOHN: Isn't it GREAT? It really captures the raw emotion of our live shows.

DAN: The puffy paint says, "Friendship is: hot cocoa on a cold day."
JOHN: THAT (sniff) THAT is rock music, man.

The art of scrapbooking

SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet?
JOHN: I got one of my mom.

SCRAPPER: OK. Here she is on a blank sheet of paper. Feel anything?
JOHN: No. Not really.

SOUND: Glitter! Stars! Serrated edges! Double-sided tape! Puffy paint! Hearts! Scissors! Glue sticks! More glitter!

SCRAPPER: How about... NOW?
JOHN: (sniff) NO... (blubber) I... I have to use the (full-on crying) r-restroom...

Artists vs. hobbyists

JOHN: The difference between me and you scrapbookers is that I am an ARTIST. You all are HOBBYISTS.
SCRAPPER: We're BOTH artists and we're BOTH hobbyists!

JOHN: I am NOT a hobbyist...
SCRAPPER: Do you make a living from your band?

JOHN: As a matter of fact I DO.
SCRAPPER: Then why are you working at Kinko's?

JOHN: I happen to have a deep respect for the printed word.
SCRAPPER: Well... the PHOTOCOPIED word...

I am an artist

SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

SCRAPPER: Really?
JOHN: YES. I AM. I happen to be in a VERY successful local band.

SCRAPPER: REALLY?

JOHN: I happen to be in a MODERATELY successful local band.
SCRAPPER: There we go...

Scrapper

SCRAPPER: And then I need this laminated and cut to match the others.
JOHN: No problem…

JOHN: Dan's crazy. These scrapbooker ladies aren't prima donnas. I actually think it's cool they're so creative with-

SCRAPPER: What the FUCK are you doing with pinking shears, IDIOT?
SOUND: WHAP
JOHN: OW!

JOHN: It begins.
SCRAPPER: Did I MENTION sawtoothed edges? DID I, ASSHOLE?

The scrapbooking menace

DAN: These scrapbookers think they're these creative GENIUSES, but they don't know how to use the EQUIPMENT, even though they need it to make their "art".

DAN: They make us do ALL the work, for something THEY take all the credit for, and they treat us like SHIT while they do it. It's... it's HORRIBLE, man.

DAN: They're like... a lead singer in a band.
JOHN: Like me in our band?

DAN: Well, like you, but like you if you weren't so BADASS...
JOHN: That DOES sound scary...

Customer service

JOHN: … and I'm best suited for, oh, customer relations.
KINKO'S BOSS: Well, that's perfect, dipshit. I'll put you on some of our BEST customers.

DAN: WHOA...
KINKO'S BOSS: That's RIGHT, Lepp. Your little idiot SINGER friend is now an Assistant Customer Service Rep…

KINKO'S BOSS: ...in charge of SCRAPBOOKERS!

KINKO'S BOSS: A HA HA HA HA HA! Heh... ..
DAN: That's, like, a REALLY shitty role, man.
JOHN: Yeah, I GATHERED, Dan.