Comics and posts about myspace | Bassist Wanted

Shutting off the MySpace page

JOHN: OK, band meeting. I'm shutting off our MySpace account.
RONI: Thank GOD.

JOHN: It was tearing the Ambulance Men apart. And distracting us from more important things.
RONI: Like, actually practicing ever?

JOHN: Also... this 15-year-old sent us a... photo of herself, and I got really creeped out.

DAN: What was she--
JOHN: I don't wanna talk about it.
CHRISTINA: MySpace IS creepy... feels like the whole site's covered with a clear, sticky film....

MySpace blog

RONI: Why do we need a MySpace blog? We already have places on MySpace to post shows and announcements.
JOHN: The blog is where I post about current events.

RONI: Who the hell cares what you have to say about current events?
JOHN: I'll have you know my first post has already inspired some very spirited user comments.

RONI: This is just Dan and you posting back and forth, idiot.
JOHN: Well... you gotta prime the pump, Roni.

DAN: By the way, you never responded to my post about why Hamas sucks dick.
JOHN: I do not respond to flame-baiting, Daniel....

Side projects on MySpace

JOHN: See... there's a Rilo Kiley MySpace page, and separate pages for The Elected and Jenny Lewis. Separate.

JOHN: Now, our account is for the Ambulance Men. So... if you have something to post about your side project stuff, make a separate account.

RONI: For the last time, you MORON, I am not posting about a "side project"....

RONI: I am posting a congratulations message to my sister about her engagement.
JOHN: You'll probably be singing at the wedding, Roni! It's a slippery slope!

Using the band

JOHN: I'm concerned about these messages you're getting through the band's MySpace account, Dan.
DAN: Yeah, girls seem to like to message bands....

JOHN: Dan! The account is for the band! For promotion! Not for personal use! There must be separation of church and band!
DAN: Look, John, I--

JOHN: No, YOU look, Dan, OK? MySpace is about music! It's not some cheap dating service!

DAN: John, you and the founder of MySpace are the only people on earth who actually believe that statement.
JOHN: It's me and Tom vs. the world!

Survey result graphics on MySpace

DAN: Look what I put on our MySpace page.... I took a survey, see, I'm 45% redneck. And, here, of all the Muppets, I'm most like Gonzo. Ha! I bet our fans love this stuff....

RONI: We don't have FANS, Dan. And unprofessional crap isn't helping us get any.
DAN: Melanie's sort of like a "fan".

RONI: Your little crush came to ONE show. And she could give a fuck about which Golden Girl you're most like.
DAN: I bet Melanie's very interested to know I'm a "Rose"!

DAN: And I don't have a CRUSH on her.... "Dorothy"....

MySpace age

DAN: Some cute girl sent us a MySpace message. Can I add her as a friend?
JOHN: Not so fast... What'd she put as her age?

DAN: Well... I mean, it says 99. But--
JOHN: No, no, no. No way. No.

DAN: Come on! Heh, you know, like, she's probably, like, 23, right? But, heh, she puts 99, and like... like....

DAN: (sigh) Yeah, I guess it's not funny.
JOHN: Standards, Dan. Fake 99-year-olds don't get adds.

Meeting MySpace friends

JOHN: OK, click there to ask them to be our friend on MySpace.
DAN: But they're not our friend.

JOHN: That's OK, just ask.
DAN: Shouldn't I send them a message first?

JOHN: No, we wait until they accept us, then we post a comment that says, "Thanks for the add."
DAN: Do we ever actually talk with them?

JOHN: No, no, you see, Dan, MySpace is what's known as an "anti-social network".
DAN: So this cuts all the... interaction out of friendship.

‘Sounds Like’ section on MySpace

RONI: You have to change the "Sounds Like" spot on our MySpace page.
JOHN: I stand by what I put.

RONI: It's bullshit! It's impossible to sound like Sigur Ros AND Rammstein.
JOHN: Well, I dunno... in my head, that's what we sound like.

RONI: Well, what sort of fucked up acoustics are in your head then?
JOHN: You would hear what I mean if we recorded on better equipment.

RONI: And where can one buy this magical equipment, John? Do unicorns sell it?
JOHN: Fine!! "Sounds like: every other shitty local band"! Happy?!

MySpace influences

JOHN: OK... then MySpace has a spot for our influences.
CHRISTINA: How about John Adams?
DAN: John Adams?

CHRISTINA: Yeah. I read a biography of him last month. It's really influenced me.
JOHN: I'm not putting John Adams, Christina.

CHRISTINA: OK... but he's one of the most unheralded heros of the American revolution.
JOHN: Great! But how many chords did he know?

RONI: How many chords do you know?
JOHN: I know some chords!
DAN: How 'bout Frank Zappa? He was a revolutionary sorta dude.
CHRISTINA: Zappa knew some chords.

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