Comics and posts about Mega-Tune | Bassist Wanted

The dream is dead

BART: The dream of beautiful one-note Mega-Tuned music has died, Joel. Back to STUPID, complicated multi-note songs, with their STUPID "melodies" and "harmonies"... Ugh...

MUSIC: JUMP!

JOEL: Playing one last Mega-Tuned song for good measure, sir?
BART: Oh, no no...

BART: No, I just looooooove love love those Pointer Sisters, Joel.
BART: For my love! JUMP IN!

How’d you do it?

JOEL: SO his albums, Mega-Tuned to one note per track, recreate his biggest hit song. ...SO WHAT?
BART: SO he still retains copyright on the Mega-Tune version.

KEVIN: So YOU still owe me my royalties.
BART: Meaning Mega-Tune... is USELESS. Jumpstart Malady songs were the only way we'd've made any real money.

BART: How'd you DO it, Kevin? How'd you make music so sonically BORING that it simplifies recursively into itself? How'd you write pop songs that PERFECTLY?

KEVIN: By ACCIDENT!!!
BART: Inadvertently brilliant... Yes, that IS your M.O.

Returning the favor

KEVIN: I'm here to return the favor and screw YOU, Bart. Listen to our hit song, "Spiral Away"...
MUSIC: Spiral awaaaaaaaay, I lost myself, I fell until I couldn't fall...

KEVIN: And listen to our first album, Mega-Tuned to one note per song...
MEGA-TUNE: Spiral. Away. I. Lost. Myself. I. Fell. Until. I. Couldn't. Fall.

BART: They... sound the SAME.
KEVIN: YEAH... That's RIGHT...

KEVIN: MY MUSIC IS DERIVATIVE OF ITSELF!!
BART: Holy GOATS...

Kevin drops in to Hancock

BART: KEVIN! How's my favorite pop star doing?
KEVIN: I'LL tell you how I'm doing, Bart.... I'm getting SCREWED by this MEGA-TUNE catshit.

KEVIN: And since it is YOUR fault, I'm now going to slow roast YOUR dick, poach YOUR nuts, and serve it to YOU with a fucking chorizo polenta on the SIDE!!

KEVIN: THAT'S how I'm DOING!!

BART: And how's Linda?
KEVIN: LINDA IS FINE!!

The Holy Grail

KURT: GRAPEFRUIT! PHOSPHORESCENCE! CARDIGAN! There. I just wrote three new one-note songs.
BART: This is the life, eh Joel?

BART: We've found the HOLY GRAIL...

BART: We figured out how the music industry can make MONEY again...

BART: All we had to do was remove the MUSICIANS.

Writing new one-note songs

MEGA-TUNE: Motherlover.
KURT: Und dat's the Mega-Tune version of "Ave Maria".

BART: The great thing about Mega-Tune is once consumers are trained to like it, we can stop using existing stuff and just create new one-note songs.

BART: Kurt, sing him the gem you wrote this morning.
KURT: OATMEAL!

KURT: I mean, you know, I'm still playing vit it.
JOEL: Haunting.
BART: Ooo. I like that. Did you just write that, Joel?

Malady hears about Mega-Tune

GORDON: Kevin! I have some really bad, really WEIRD, news!
KEVIN: Not now, Gordon. I'm playing Brutal Legend with Jason Mraz.

GORDON: The label developed this process called Mega-Tune. It bastardizes our songs to these commercially-acceptable one-note versions!
KEVIN: OK...

GORDON: Kevin! Our songs... our life's work.... they're homogenizing it. They're massacring it!!!
KEVIN: Let's not overreact, OK? I'm sure the label has its reasons.

GORDON: On a side note, due to this process, we'll be losing a tiny amount of royalty money.
KEVIN: We must STOP this, Gordon! We WILL stop this! Though the heavens fall!

Blink-182 Mega-Tuned

JOEL: Does every album devolve into a song when you Mega-Tune it?
KURT: No, but dey all reveal sometink about the artist. Fur example...

MEGA-TUNE: Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal.

KURT: Dat's Mega-Tunes of the entire BLINK-182 catalog.

JOEL: Well... they're very... CONSISTENT.
KURT: Ja, und I STOPPED it... I mean, it goes on like dat fur HOURS.

Abbey Road Mega-Tuned

KURT: Vhen de Mega-Tune simplifies albums to one note and word per song, it often reveals bizarre patterns.

KURT: Fur example, dis is all of ABBEY ROAD, back to back...

MEGA-TUNE: Come. My. Lady. You're. My. Pretty. Baby. I'll. Make. Your. Legs. Shake. You. Make. Me. Go. Crazy.

JOEL: That's... that's Crazy Town.
KURT: Ja. Ja, it IS crazytown.

Albums reduce to songs

KURT: I haf found an interesting artifact of using Mega-Tune.
JOEL: OK.

KURT: Many albums, reduced to one note per song, seem to form new songs with the notes. For example...

MEGA-TUNE: You. Are. My. Sunshine. My. Only. Sunshine. You. Make. Me. Happy. When. Skies. Are. Gray.

JOEL: Whoa, what album is that?
KURT: "The Best of the Velvet Underground".