Comics and posts about Guitar Hero | Bassist Wanted

Guitar Hero epilogue

TRASH DUMP GUY: Hello, anything toxic?
RITA: No, just a lot of unsold copies of Guitar Hero: Metallica...

TRASH DUMP GUY: This pile is ALL unsold Guitar Hero paraphernalia. Dump it there...
RITA: Thanks. What're these other piles?

TRASH DUMP GUY: Well, on your LEFT are discontinued iPods and cell phones.

TRASH DUMP GUY: And on your RIGHT are copies of Julie Taymor's ACROSS THE UNIVERSE movie.
RITA: Lemme throw mine in there while I'm here...

Trying to relate

KEVIN: Look, Ted, I KNOW I'm a piece of SHIT, OK? And I KNOW you think my band is... pop TRASH. But I made this game because...

KEVIN: I was just trying to do something to RELATE to you.
TED: You never... you never TALKED like that to me before, dad.

TED: It's really... TOUCHING.
KEVIN: (sniff) Well, THANKS...

TED: It reminds me of a GRIZZLY BEAR song I like...
KEVIN: AUGH! Ted! FUCK GRIZZLY BEAR! They're just RADIOHEAD with a copy of the NEW YORKER shoved up their ass!

Bonus material

TED: Dad, I don't wanna play your band's version of Guitar Hero...
KEVIN: Just check it out! I made 'em put in BONUS MATERIAL, just for YOU!

KEVIN: Like this cut scene...
TED: What the HELL is this?

KEVIN: This is me and your mom DOIN' IT for the first time, buddy...

TED: Wow... You're damaging my childhood. In 1080p.
KEVIN: Man, they really rendered the bathrooms at Irving Plaza PERFECTLY...

A present

KEVIN: Ted, I know you love music games, so I got you something... that's gonna blow your mind!
TED: You got me Rock Band Beatles!

TED: Oh... No. This is some shitty Jumpstart Malady version of Guitar Hero...

TED: Of course that makes sense given you're IN Jumpstart Malady.

TED: Well, I'd love to feign interest here, dad, but I think it'd be insulting for both of us.

Unloading product

KEVIN: Oh good, you got the Guitar Hero. This is the Jumpstart Malady one, right?
RITA: Yes, sir.

RITA: The Best Buy was really unloading product though. They forced me to buy their entire inventory of Guitar Hero: Metallica.

RITA: 3,000 copies at 8 cents each.
KEVIN: Yeesh.

RITA: So anyway, I'll make a stop by the landfill on the way home.
KEVIN: Yes, please. Go NOW, in fact, I don't want any paparazzi to see this...

Shelf space at Best Buy

RITA: Hi, I'm looking for a copy of Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady.
BEST BUY GUY: WHAT? Is there ANOTHER Guitar Hero SKU out?!

RITA: Yeah... just came out today.
BEST BUY GUY: No! NO! No. MORE. I have NO room! I have TOO MUCH PLASTIC SHIT in here!! No!!

BEST BUY GUY: I got BALANCE boards! I got all KINDS of drums and guitars! I... NIGHT VISION GOGGLES! God damn WII FISHING POLES! I... I can't MOVE!

RITA: Can I... speak to your manager?
BEST BUY GUY: My MANAGER was crushed 2 weeks ago by DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION boxes!!

Whatever it takes

KEVIN: Rita, do me a favor. I'm on my way to see my kid...
RITA: Yes, sir?

KEVIN: Can you pick me up a copy of our Jumpstart Malady Guitar Hero game and meet me there?
RITA: Yes, sir.

KEVIN: I gotta get this kid to love me, Boz. I'll buy whatever it takes...
BOZ: I dunno, money can't buy you love, sir.

KEVIN: I didn't know black people KNEW the Beatles, Boz.
BOZ: Well, we stick to the ones Teddy Riley covered...

Activision GamZ0RzCon keynote

BOBBY KOTICK: ...and now, get ready for the most EXCITING event of the convention, a moment you music gaming fans have been WAITING for, for well over 10 years...

BOBBY KOTICK: Ladies and gentlemen, here to announce Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady... Activision presents... Keeeeevin EdOOOOOOO! Of JUMP! START! MALADY!

KEVIN: Hey. Later.

BOBBY KOTICK: WOW! A BIG hand for Kevin for doing that! WOW! THAT was amazing! You guys have a great story to tell your KIDS! WOW! That was just electric! Wow wow WOW!

The Ryan Scott interview

KEVIN: UGH... these nerd conventions...
RYAN SCOTT: UM... Kevin Edo? I'm Ryan Scott, I work for, UH... Gamespy.

RYAN SCOTT: Is it, UH, true you'll be announcing a Jumpstart Malady-based Guitar Hero game, UH, today?
KEVIN: Boz, will you... ?
BOZ: Yes, sir.

SOUND: STAB
RYAN SCOTT: AUGH!
SOUND: scritch scritch

KEVIN: I mean... these guys have ZERO social skills...
KEVIN: And I don't care for the SMELL, sir...
KEVIN: W-what the hell....

Negotiations for appearance

KEVIN: WOW... We produced Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady in 4 hours.
BOBBY KOTICK: Entertainment can be commoditized, Kevin.

BOBBY KOTICK: Now, we'd like you to announce the game at Gamz0rzCon this weekend.
KEVIN: Ugh... NERD conventions...

KEVIN: Only if I'm on stage for under 4 minutes. And I want $20,000,000 per WORD.
BOBBY KOTICK: DONE.

BOBBY KOTICK: And how many booth babes?
KEVIN: 7. NO! You know what? Let's SPLURGE. An even DOZEN!