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FreeCreditReport.com

A topic in 5 comics.

Letting your taste be defined

Dec 19, 2008

BRETT: Just realize that between Free Credit Report.com and iPod ads, you now let your music taste be defined completely by random marketing executives.
GREG: Hey!
GREG: It's also defined by Grey's Anatomy soundtracks!
BRETT: You do not grasp the crux of my point. GREG: No... I definitely don't grasp your crux.

FreeCreditReport.com singer

Dec 17, 2008

BRETT: And I just hate the Free Credit Report.com singer. He's just too- GREG: ERIC. BRET: Huh?
GREG: The singer, his name is ERIC VIOLETTE. He's a 27-year-old Montreal-based actor, singer and songwriter.
BRET: WHATEVER. So I heard him in this interview, and- GREG: OOO, probably his 11/21 appearance on Cleveland's Uncensored Net Noise podcast.
GREG: He's sort of low-energy in it, which is actually SOOOO Eric... BRETT: YOUR BRAIN SHOULD NOT CONTAIN THIS INFORMATION!!

Ad-agency-based Rock

Dec 15, 2008

GREG: The FreeCreditReport.com commercials have opened my eyes to the wonders of AD-AGENCY-BASED ROCK, Brett. I'm SUPER into the Martin Agency in Richmond.
GREG: Their senior copy writer, David Muhlenfeld, is, like, the next JIMMY HARNED! BRETT: ...who?
GREG: Jimmy Harned. Of Tonefarmer? He did Subway's classic "FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG" spot? Wow, do you not...? Here, lemme...
GREG: SHOOT, my boutique-firm stuff is on my other iPod... tell you what, I'll make you a mix... BRETT: That's... OK.

The New Punk

Dec 12, 2008

BRETT: The Free Credit Report.com songs are not SONGS. They're marketing JINGLES. GREG: Jingles are the new punk, Brett!
GREG: There's nothing wrong with artists getting paid! Da Vinci got a commission for doing the Sistine Chapel!
BRETT: Are you comparing the Roman Catholic Church to a scammy credit website? GREG: Why? Am I gettin' a little too EDGY for ya, Brett?!
BRETT: No, you're getting a little too STUPID for me, Greg. GREG: My theories are HOT, and you don't wanna BURN YOUR HANDS!

Pop or art

Oct 27, 2008

GREG: It's a pop MASTERPIECE! BRETT: It's corporate drivel.
GREG: One day they'll be hailed as GENIUSES! BRETT: You're an idiot.
GREG: Mark my words: those FREE CREDIT REPORT .COM guys are our generation's Beatles!! OUR BEATLES!!
GREG: If, you know, they're actually a real band.

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