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Food

A topic in 5 comics.

Free of the shackles

Apr 28, 2010

DAN: You happy to be free of the shackles of the dayjob?
JOHN: Oh yeah, man.
JOHN: And my settlement checks are even bigger than they were before, so I'm gonna donate some stuff to one of them starving African orphan kids.
JOHN: They say they need the essentials, so I'm thinking some Beatles CDs, some Stones, maybe early Bowie...
DAN: What about... FOOD?
JOHN: Um... sure, I could eat.

No Blunt in the Mexican restaurant

Aug 9, 2006

GREG: Well, happy birthday, man. Cheers! Enjoying your margarita?
BRETT: Yeah, thanks. This is really helping me relax.
MEXICAN OWNER: ¡Feliz cumpleaños, senor!
GREG: Surprise!
BRETT: Greg, you shouldn't have....
MEXICAN MUSICIAN: Uno, dos, tres....
MEXICAN MUSICIAN: (singing) Usted es hermoso, usted es hermoso....
GREG: ¡ No, no, por favor!
BRETT: AUGH!!
MEXICAN OWNER: Dios mio....
MEXICAN MUSICIAN: Es-- ow... es una canción popular i-inofensiva....
GREG: We'll... just have the check.
BRETT: AUGH!

No James Blunt at the Subway

Aug 5, 2006

SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.
BRETT: I HAVE TO KEEP MY HANDS ON MY EARS WHILE YOUR INSTORE MUSIC IS PLAYING THIS JAMES BLUNT SONG.
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: What? This "You're Beautiful" song?
SUBWAY WORKER: DENNIS! CAN YOU COME OUT HERE? DENNIS!!
BRETT: I'M TRYING TO AVOID HEARING IT. I'VE HELD OUT FOR A YEAR.
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: It's not so bad. Sorta harmless hooky pop.
SUBWAY WORKER: OK, just... look, I'm charging you for the meal...
BRETT: IT'S SORT OF A "QUEST".
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: Can I have his chips?

Jumpstart Malady leaves Chicago

Mar 31, 2006

AGENT: OK, first show went well... sold-out house, and gordon only quit ONCE, heh, right, guys?
AGENT: Oh, we're all set up in Cleveland. We're at the Four Seasons. And I confirmed Letterman in April... Guys? Why are we not talking?
AGENT: Jesus, is this still about this morning? There was nothing I could do!
PETER WELD: Bull... SHIT.
AGENT: They stop serving breakfast at 10:30! It's just the rule!
PETER WELD: You find me a McGriddle, Anth, or I fund us a new manager!
GORDON CRANWICK: I... I quit.
KEVIN EDO: Shut up, Gordon.

Peter won’t play Boston

Mar 10, 2006

AGENT: So then you guys'll play Boston.
PETER WELD: No! We DON'T play Boston!
KEVIN EDO: Last tour, we ate Thai food in Boston.
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter ordered Pad Kee Mao.
PETER WELD: I asked for it MILD!
KEVIN EDO: They made it too spicy.
AGENT: Why didn't you just send it back?
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter doesn't send back food.
KEVIN EDO: So Jumpstart Malady won't play Boston.
GORDON CRANWICK: So Peter won't play Boston.
AGENT: OK... OK, well, no Boston.
AGENT: So next is New Haven....
PETER WELD: HA! No WAY I play New Haven!
KEVIN EDO: Last tour, we went bowling in New Haven.
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter rolled an 8-10 split.

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