Comics and posts about downloading | Bassist Wanted

Preventing future piracy

DRM 9000: "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand. You've played it 8 times. You were authorized for 7.5 times. You exceeded your digital rights. $50 fine.

GREG: That's ludicrous.
DRM 9000: Since you cannot prove your innocence, you reveal your guilt. Sony will now prevent future privacy crimes you will probably commit.

GREG: Wait, what?
DRM 9000: Based on your current tastes, I'll determine which Sony BMG CDs you will likely steal and charge your credit card for them.

GREG: Aqualung, "Strange and Beautiful"... Teddy Geiger, "Underage Thinking"...
DRM 9000: You can't just--... you... wait, no, is that the "Love Monkey" kid? NO!

New My Morning Jacket CD

SONY GUY 1: On behalf of Sony BMG, we're not only personally apologizing for the rootkit fiasco, we're also giving you a new My Morning Jacket CD. Here you go.
GREG: Thanks.

GREG: Are... are you going to let go of it?
SONY GUY 1: What? Why?

GREG: Well. I dunno... because... it's my CD now.
SONY GUY 1: It's, it's not yours, Greg! We still own the music, so, so don't just, don't--

SONY GUY 2: Jerry. Be cool, man.
SONY GUY 1: He's a pirate, Curtis! I see it in his eyes! He's got that lean, hungry, BitTorrent-y look about him!

totalabovemp3.com

GREG: OK, Brett, I found the music site for me: totalabovemp3.com. You can download anything you want. Anything.

GREG: There's links to donate to each artist, but if you don't want to... it's totally free.
BRETT: And you don't feel guilty like with the other illegal sites?

GREG: Nope. Because next to every song, they list the annual salary of both the musician and the president of the record label.

GREG: The truth has set me free, David Geffen!
BRETT: Neat, you can also donate to a fund that raises money to egg the offices of the RIAA....

yourfriendfred.com

GREG: I found a new download site: YourFriendFred.com ... This guy Fred sends you whatever mp3s you want. B-but it's legal! See if you run into Fred ever, you buy him a beer.

GREG: A-and Fred promises that a PORTION of that beer goes directly to the artist. S-so everyone wins, see? H-ha ha! R-right, Brett?

BRETT: Yeah, idiot, if the artist WANTS to be paid in beer, and if "Fred" HAPPENS to run into them in the next 20 minutes.
GREG: It's POSSIBLE.

BRETT: Oh SURE! "Why, look who's here at Dempsey's! Kanye West! And the rotting corpse of Johnny Cash!"
GREG: I mean, I ALWAYS see that Fiery Furnaces dude at the bodega....

manymanymp3.com

BRETT: Still getting your mp3s from that semi-legal allofmp3.com?
GREG: No, now I found manymanymp3.com. You can get any music you want. You pay nothing.

BRETT: Sounds even shadier. Thought you were all concerned with artists getting their fair share.
GREG: Well, you agree to pay later, Brett. If, you know, you like the music.

GREG: And if... if the band specifically asks you for the money.

GREG: It's... it's teaching musicians to be assertive, really! Th-that's what it's doing!
BRETT: Ever heard the term "slippery slope", Greg?

allofmp3.com

GREG: I'm having an iTunes crisis of faith, Brett. I just found this Russian site, allofmp3.com. It's like $2/album.

BRETT: Hmm. Think it's legal?
GREG: W-well, a portion of what I pay goes to the artist. So I'm not really
doing anything wrong... right?

BRETT: Show me where you read that.
GREG: Here on this blog. Next to that porn ad and the "Top 10 Warez Linkz" thing.

BRETT: Mmm. Well, I'll leave you to your rationalizing.
GREG: Bottom line, i-it's not MY fault it's not shut down... right? RIGHT?!

Download nightmares

BRETT: Come on! It's just one album!
GREG: Don't tempt me with illegal mp3s, man! I'll stick to iTunes. A guilt-free life is worth $1 a song.

BRETT: Dude, the record companies don't pay any production or distribution costs with iTunes, and they charge the same as CDs. It's a ripoff.

GREG: Look, I used Napster in college! I won't go back to that life! I would have nightmares about musicians breaking into my apartment and stealing stuff....

GREG: Liz Phair would hold me down while P.J. Harvey ripped my socks off my feet. It was... arousing. But also scary.
BRETT: You're a toolbox, Greg.

Album leakage

BART: The album leaked!? Who leaked it!? Sue 'em, Joel! Squeeze 'em 'til it hurts!
JOEL: Once the files are out there, sir, it's nearly impossible to tell who leaked them.

BART: Then who's downloading it? Sue them! Drain the bastards dry!!
JOEL: Eh, with these newer P2P file sharing networks... that's pretty hard to track.

BART: Well, God damn it, Joel....

BART: Can we just sue the Internet in general then?
JOEL: Legal's looking into it, sir....