Comics and posts about concerts | Bassist Wanted

Bonnaroo 2009 poster

KEVIN EDO: Did you see this fucking BONNAROO POSTER? We're in fucking 14pt, man!
TONY THE AGENT: Looks... the same as other bands.

KEVIN EDO: NO, Springsteen, Phish, and fucking NIN are 14.25pt, but we're down in 14pt with the God damned STEERAGE! We're the same damned font as God damned GOMEZ, Tony!

A pause.

TONY THE AGENT: You can eyeball a .25pt font difference?
KEVIN EDO: I took a typography class in Junior College!!!

Our name on the ticket

DAN: COOL! This ticket for our MERCURY LOUNGE show has our NAME printed on it!
CHRISTINA: Where? I didn't see our name.

DAN: THERE! It says "A.M."! For AMBULANCE MEN!
CHRISTINA: Dan, that's just our timeslot: "8 A.M."

DAN: Oh.

DAN: That's sort of a shitty timeslot.
CHRISTINA: It's not great.

Audience hate = respect

JOHN: ...and if you get another guitar, we can even do the thing where we make the audience wait while you switch them.

DAN: Don't they hate that?
JOHN: Audience golden rule: what they HATE, they RESPECT.

DAN: Even that night at Rockwood? That was all... respect.
JOHN: Oh, totally. TOTAL respect.

DAN: Even that old handicapped woman?
JOHN: Well, yeah, you gotta, y'know, read between the fistfights.

Out of tune

DAN: Oh hey, before we get started, my guitar's out of tune.

JOHN: OK.

JOHN: So... you gonna start tuning it?
DAN: Oh no, that'd take me hours.

DAN: I was just sorta giving a heads up that I'm gonna sound shitty.

Friendship is based on trust

STEWART: John? Hey, man. What's... up?
JOHN: "What's up?" I had a show last night, Stewart. Where the hell were you?
STEWART: Oh... I...

JOHN: A friendship is based on trust, Stewart. I loan you my friendship, and I trust you will repay me by coming to my shows, but you've been missing payments, man!

STEWART: And I'm foreclosing on our friendship, Stewart!
JOHN: Whoa.

STEWART: Can I have my Newsradio DVDs back, then?
JOHN: No, Stewart! No! Those DVDs were... "friendship collateral."

Driving to the Malady concert

GREG: We're skipping Giant Drag? But they're supposed to be good.
BRETT: Opening bands at expensive shows are a no-win in terms of overall concert experience.

BRETT: If they suck, it sucks. If they're good, the main band is a letdown, and you've just paid $50 to see someone you could see for $5 when they tour on their own.

GREG: Can we at least park? It's making me nervous circling the block....
BRETT: Greg, the proper parking space is KEY to an enjoyable concert experience.

GREG: I just feel like we're casing the joint....
BRETT: You have to consider the pre- and post-show walks... and exit gate proximity is CRUCIAL....

Jumpstart Malady meets Giant Drag

MICAH CALABRESE: Are you guys almost done? We need to set up.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, sure. All yours. You're "Giant Drug"?
ANNIE HARDY: Giant DRAG.
PETER WELD: Hi, I'm Peter.

MICAH CALABRESE: I'm Micah. That's Annie.
KEVIN EDO: Just two of you, huh?
ANNIE HARDY: Yeah, I play guitar. He plays keyboard and drums.
PETER WELD: At the same time?

MICAH CALABRESE: Yeah.
KEVIN EDO: So... what's the story? You guys fucking?
ANNIE HARDY: Well, I FUCKING think your music eats dick.

KEVIN EDO: Ooo, like the foul mouth. Here's my hotel key....
ANNIE HARDY: Lick a hole and die.
MICAH CALABRESE: There's hummus all over these cymbals.
PETER WELD: Wait... at the SAME TIME?

Soundcheck in Chicago

AGENT: You have 20 minutes for soundcheck. Where's Gordon?
KEVIN EDO: Gordon's not coming.
PETER WELD: Where will the water be? And snacks?

AGENT: Water behind the bass amp. Hummus and pitas by the scaffolding. What? Where is he, Kevin?
KEVIN EDO: Dunno. Don't care. Don't need him.
PETER WELD: Oooo, hummus....

AGENT: I'll find Gordon, you guys see how things sound.
KEVIN EDO: HELLO, HELLO. GO FUCK YOURSELF, CHICAGO.
PETER WELD: Hey, nice screen, we got the JVC.

KEVIN EDO: HEH, I'M JUST KIDDING, CHICAGO. PETER, YOU... GOT HUMMUS ON YOUR EAR.
PETER WELD: Whoop, so I do. Good eye....

Office people after the show

MARCY: Great job, Veronica! The others from the office had to catch the 1:15 train, but they got to see your first song.
JOHN: Roni, you KNOW this jackass who kept jumping on stage?

CAL: I am a golden god!!
JOHN: Yeah, you almost had a golden goddamned lawsuit on your hands, pal.
MARCY: We better get going, Veronica. Young man: you have a nice voice.

JOHN: Oh... hey, thanks.
RONI: Bye Marcy. Bye Cal.

JOHN: So what's her story? Single?
RONI: Yes, John, she's 68, recently widowed and ready to mingle.

Office people show up

SARA: We're all here, Veronica! I told you Kemper-Rogers would support you at your shows!
CAL: Wooooo!!
RONI: You all're... here early.

MARCY: Now where can I set up my folding chair and blanket?
RONI: Oh, well, most people just, you know, stand, Marcy.
CAL: MOSH!!

MARCY: Oh my, I didn't wear my standing shoes.
SARA: I love the art on the wall here. I can't make out this one though.

RONI: It... (sigh) it looks to be a monkey sucking on a dolphin's penis, Sara.
MARCY: Oh my.
CAL: Stage dive!