Comics and posts about commercials | Bassist Wanted

Meeting halfway

BRETT: Look, it's a new year, let's resolve to meet each other halfway on this.
GREG: OK. How about...

GREG: YOU... make a fundamental moral shift and stop hating musicians that license their songs to TV shows and commercials.

GREG: And I... will try to stop referring to Iggy Pop as "that Carribean Cruise Line guy."

BRETT: Quite a sacrifice.
GREG: I know. "Iggy" is, like, a TOTALLY weird name.

Artists should have ideals

GREG: So bands shouldn't sell songs to TV shows, movies and commercials?
BRETT: No, it taints them.

GREG: But you're also against them charging for mp3s and, like, copyright in general?
BRETT: Yes. Music should be free.

GREG: How do expect these guys to LIVE? Art takes TIME. It takes MONEY.
BRETT: I just want artists to have IDEALS.

GREG: You also seem to want them to have TRUST FUNDS.

Corruption-free music

GREG: So you won't listen to any band who let their music be used in commercials, movies or TV shows?
BRETT: Yes.

BRETT: I need my music to be free of corruption, so I find music that has never and will never be used for any corporate shilling.

GREG: So where d'you find that?
BRETT: Mainly shitty open mic nights.

BRETT: Only the truly shitty is truly pure.

A higher standard

BRETT: I stopped listening to Of Montreal because of that commercial. I disown ANY band who licenses their songs. Stereolab, the Feelies, Santagold... All DEAD to me.

GREG: I just don't see WHY...
BRETT: WHY, Greg? Because I... I hold myself to a HIGHER standard...

GREG: Oh no, Brett, PLEASE don't-
BRETT: It was the Fall of 1992 when I first met Ian MacKaye, Greg...

GREG: ...tell your stupid Minor Threat story...
BRETT: Leaves lined the gravel driveway of the Dischord House...

Different paths

GREG: So I first listened to of Montreal because of an Outback commercial. And you found them through some hipster blog.

GREG: In the end, does it matter?
BRETT: Yes.

BRETT: Because my path to them was based on a complex cultural conversation.

BRETT: Yours was based on a "Bloomin' Onion".

That Outback song

GREG: There's tons of cool bands I never would've heard of if not for commercials. Like those dudes who do that OUTBACK song!

BRETT: They're called OF MONTREAL, and I tried to get you to listen to them 3 years ago.

GREG: Well, yeah, but...

GREG: You weren't on TV.

Letting your taste be defined

BRETT: Just realize that between Free Credit Report.com and iPod ads, you now let your music taste be defined completely by random marketing executives.

GREG: Hey!

GREG: It's also defined by Grey's Anatomy soundtracks!

BRETT: You do not grasp the crux of my point.
GREG: No... I definitely don't grasp your crux.

FreeCreditReport.com singer

BRETT: And I just hate the Free Credit Report.com singer. He's just too-
GREG: ERIC.
BRET: Huh?

GREG: The singer, his name is ERIC VIOLETTE. He's a 27-year-old Montreal-based actor, singer and songwriter.

BRET: WHATEVER. So I heard him in this interview, and-
GREG: OOO, probably his 11/21 appearance on Cleveland's Uncensored Net Noise podcast.

GREG: He's sort of low-energy in it, which is actually SOOOO Eric...
BRETT: YOUR BRAIN SHOULD NOT CONTAIN THIS INFORMATION!!

Ad-agency-based Rock

GREG: The FreeCreditReport.com commercials have opened my eyes to the wonders of AD-AGENCY-BASED ROCK, Brett. I'm SUPER into the Martin Agency in Richmond.

GREG: Their senior copy writer, David Muhlenfeld, is, like, the next JIMMY HARNED!
BRETT: ...who?

GREG: Jimmy Harned. Of Tonefarmer? He did Subway's classic "FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG" spot? Wow, do you not...? Here, lemme...

GREG: SHOOT, my boutique-firm stuff is on my other iPod... tell you what, I'll make you a mix...
BRETT: That's... OK.

The New Punk

BRETT: The Free Credit Report.com songs are not SONGS. They're marketing JINGLES.
GREG: Jingles are the new punk, Brett!

GREG: There's nothing wrong with artists getting paid! Da Vinci got a commission for doing the Sistine Chapel!

BRETT: Are you comparing the Roman Catholic Church to a scammy credit website?
GREG: Why? Am I gettin' a little too EDGY for ya, Brett?!

BRETT: No, you're getting a little too STUPID for me, Greg.
GREG: My theories are HOT, and you don't wanna BURN YOUR HANDS!