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Breakup

A topic in 6 comics.

Out of nowhere

Aug 17, 2009

BRETT: I can't believe she left me. This is so out of NOWHERE...
THE CLOUD: ACTUALLY... 4 weeks ago you fought after seeing "Away We Go".
THE CLOUD: Her tone in emails, texts and tweets since then CLEARLY indicates a building resentment that you've done little to counter.
A pause.
BRETT: Can I opt-out of your hindsight?
THE CLOUD: Certainly. Would you mind taking a short survey before you unsubscribe?

Post-breakup Facebook strategy

Aug 15, 2009

BRETT: So she's "hidden" me. But I'll still see her and all her friends in my feed.
THE CLOUD: Well, I can unfriend them.
BRETT: NO! I don't want her to think I'm GIVING UP on her!
THE CLOUD: Of course, then I can just HIDE them.
BRETT: Well, but I want to keep tabs on them... though not her GUY friends.
THE CLOUD: I... suppose I could create a LIST that-
BRETT: While you're at it, hide her stupid KICKBALL TEAM pictures!
THE CLOUD: OK, um... now do you have Greasemonkey installed?

Smita leaves

Aug 14, 2009

SMITA: Brett, this is it. I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye.
BRETT: Smita! NO! PLEASE! We can work this OUT! Smita! SMITA!
BRETT: Can... can she not HEAR me?
THE CLOUD: She's clicked "don't show", Brett.
THE CLOUD: You... no longer appear in her feed.
BRETT: NOOOO!!

Dating the Cloud

Jul 28, 2009

SMITA: It's like you don't even know me anymore. You used to keep up with what music I liked and RECOMMEND things to me.
SMITA: I bet PANDORA knows me better than YOU these days. Or the iTunes GENIUS BUTTON! And AMAZON.COM knows me MUCH better than you!
SMITA: So I'm leaving you, Brett. I'm leaving you for the Internet.
BRETT: WHAT?
SMITA: Meet my new boyfriend, THE CLOUD.
BRETT: My... my God...
THE CLOUD: Just got DUMPED? Try Match.com!

Watchmen movie as therapy

Apr 6, 2009

BRETT: Bryan took my advice and finally got over his ex-wife.
GREG: What was the advice?
BRETT: Sense memory shock therapy! I told him to go see Watchmen.
GREG: Watchmen?
BRETT: Uh huh. Her and Bryan's wedding song was "Hallelujah".
GREG: Oh my.
BRETT: Yes, the most iconic memory of their marriage-
GREG: -replaced by Skinemax-y shots of owl-based cosplay.

After the breakup

Apr 5, 2005

JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.
JOHN: And so now it's like, what now? Where do I go? It's all gone, my future, I don't even... it's all gone.
DAN: I hear ya, man. It's... you know, it's tough. And whenever you wanna talk, you just let me know.
DAN: We should probably finish this set first though maybe.

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