Comics and posts about Bobby Kotick (president of Activision) | Bassist Wanted

Activision GamZ0RzCon keynote

BOBBY KOTICK: ...and now, get ready for the most EXCITING event of the convention, a moment you music gaming fans have been WAITING for, for well over 10 years...

BOBBY KOTICK: Ladies and gentlemen, here to announce Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady... Activision presents... Keeeeevin EdOOOOOOO! Of JUMP! START! MALADY!

KEVIN: Hey. Later.

BOBBY KOTICK: WOW! A BIG hand for Kevin for doing that! WOW! THAT was amazing! You guys have a great story to tell your KIDS! WOW! That was just electric! Wow wow WOW!

Negotiations for appearance

KEVIN: WOW... We produced Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady in 4 hours.
BOBBY KOTICK: Entertainment can be commoditized, Kevin.

BOBBY KOTICK: Now, we'd like you to announce the game at Gamz0rzCon this weekend.
KEVIN: Ugh... NERD conventions...

KEVIN: Only if I'm on stage for under 4 minutes. And I want $20,000,000 per WORD.
BOBBY KOTICK: DONE.

BOBBY KOTICK: And how many booth babes?
KEVIN: 7. NO! You know what? Let's SPLURGE. An even DOZEN!

Pick a plastic guitar

BOBBY KOTICK: OK, last thing, we need to ship a custom exclusive plastic guitar as part of Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady Edition.

BOBBY KOTICK: So pick any of these to be the "Kevin Edo signature guitar."
KEVIN: Bad news, man... I don't use ANY of these brands.

BOBBY KOTICK: Kevin. Selling the plastic makes us $60 more per sale, translating to about $240,000,000 in your pocket.

KEVIN: I could TOTALLY start playing that Gibson Citation...
BOBBY KOTICK: There we go...

On-disc vs. downloadable content

BOBBY KOTICK: All right, now we need to decide which of your songs goon the disc.
KEVIN: OK.

BOBBY KOTICK: And whatever songs aren't on the disc, you can sell later through the Guitar Hero store.

KEVIN: Can we... just include ONE song on the disc and sell the others for $5 a POP?
BOBBY KOTICK: You sure can.
SOUND: Cha-Ching!

KEVIN: Your eyes did the thing again, man.
TONY KING: Yeah, I really... I need to get that checked out....

Coding your Guitar Hero

BOBBY KOTICK: Kevin, this is Yevgeny. He'll be coding your Guitar Hero.
KEVIN: You enjoy music, dude?
YEVGENY: I enjoy traditional Bashkir music ONLY.

BOBBY KOTICK: Yevgeny, the band's name is "Jumpstart Malady".
YEVGENY: OK... I run search for "Yellowcard"... replace with "Jumpstart Malady"...

YEVGENY: Coding of game is done.
BOBBY KOTICK: Great! I'm glad we fit that in before lunch...

KEVIN: Who's your favorite KURAI player, man?
YEVGENY: My allegiance belongs to Diyarov.
BOBBY KOTICK: Don't talk to the developers, Kevin. It CHEAPENS you.

Guitar Hero: Jumpstart Malady

TONY: So... great! Good to go. We'll make GUITAR HERO: JUMPSTART MALADY.
KEVIN: Awesome! My kid's gonna FREAK... how long'll this take?

BOBBY KOTICK: Well, each of our band editions is very SPECIAL to us, of course, but we've got over 17 in the pipeline. So by now it only takes...

BOBBY KOTICK: Scott, how long did GUITAR HERO: LEN take us?
SCOTT OF ACTIVISION: OH... about 3 man-hours.

KEVIN: Sweet! So we can knock this out by 6 o'CLOCK...
BOBBY KOTICK: Now, YOUR game will have more than one SONG in it though...

The Kevin Edo business

TONY: Kevin, this is Bobby, he's from Activision. They do GUITAR HERO....
KEVIN: Hi, I'm-

BOBBY KOTICK: Oh, I KNOW who YOU are. Kevin, Activision wants to be... in the KEVIN EDO BUSINESS.
KEVIN: So you'll put us in the game?

BOBBY KOTICK: No... we want you to have your OWN game. We want to make a CUSTOM Guitar Hero JUST for Jumpstart Malady.
SOUND: CA-CHING!

KEVIN: Whoa, Anth, your eyes became little DOLLAR SIGNS for a second...
TONY: Yeah, that's a... a little facial tic I have...