Comics and posts about Beatles | Bassist Wanted

Free of the shackles

DAN: You happy to be free of the shackles of the dayjob?
JOHN: Oh yeah, man.

JOHN: And my settlement checks are even bigger than they were before, so I'm gonna donate some stuff to one of them starving African orphan kids.

JOHN: They say they need the essentials, so I'm thinking some Beatles CDs, some Stones, maybe early Bowie...

DAN: What about... FOOD?
JOHN: Um... sure, I could eat.

Abbey Road Mega-Tuned

KURT: Vhen de Mega-Tune simplifies albums to one note and word per song, it often reveals bizarre patterns.

KURT: Fur example, dis is all of ABBEY ROAD, back to back...

MEGA-TUNE: Come. My. Lady. You're. My. Pretty. Baby. I'll. Make. Your. Legs. Shake. You. Make. Me. Go. Crazy.

JOEL: That's... that's Crazy Town.
KURT: Ja. Ja, it IS crazytown.

A single vord

KURT: Vit Mega-Tune, we not only simplify music, but also lyrics.

KURT: Each song reduces to a single vord. Observe.

MEGA-TUNE: AMERICA! LOVE! PENIS!

KURT: Dat was de National Anthem, "Something" by de Beatles und, of course, Aerosmith's "Dude Who Look Like de Lady".
JOEL: Oof.

A present

KEVIN: Ted, I know you love music games, so I got you something... that's gonna blow your mind!
TED: You got me Rock Band Beatles!

TED: Oh... No. This is some shitty Jumpstart Malady version of Guitar Hero...

TED: Of course that makes sense given you're IN Jumpstart Malady.

TED: Well, I'd love to feign interest here, dad, but I think it'd be insulting for both of us.

Whatever it takes

KEVIN: Rita, do me a favor. I'm on my way to see my kid...
RITA: Yes, sir?

KEVIN: Can you pick me up a copy of our Jumpstart Malady Guitar Hero game and meet me there?
RITA: Yes, sir.

KEVIN: I gotta get this kid to love me, Boz. I'll buy whatever it takes...
BOZ: I dunno, money can't buy you love, sir.

KEVIN: I didn't know black people KNEW the Beatles, Boz.
BOZ: Well, we stick to the ones Teddy Riley covered...

Just repeat the chorus again

DAN: John, it's 4 AM, man. We've gotta stop writing this song. Let's just repeat the chorus again and go to sleep.

JOHN: NO!! It's gotta be something NEW, Dan! The BEATLES wouldn't "just repeat the chorus again"!!

DAN: The Beatles don't have an early shift at Kinko's tomorrow.
JOHN: We don't sleep until we redefine the fundamental structure of pop music!

Pop or art

GREG: It's a pop MASTERPIECE!
BRETT: It's corporate drivel.

GREG: One day they'll be hailed as GENIUSES!
BRETT: You're an idiot.

GREG: Mark my words: those FREE CREDIT REPORT .COM guys are our generation's Beatles!! OUR BEATLES!!

GREG: If, you know, they're actually a real band.

No Beatle Cloning

DR. CARY: Sadly, soon after the project began, we lost a lot of funding, so later bands like the Pixies and Nirvana were never cloned.

JOEL: But what about older bands? Like the Beatles? Why not clone the most successful rock band of all time?

JOEL: I guess back then you thought those bands would be just as successful.
DR. CARY: Well, there were also legal issues.

DR. CARY: Michael Jackson owns the rights to the Beatles DNA...
JEFF LYNNE: I was the fifth Beatle!
JOEL: Hey! A clone of Jeff Lynne!

A unified sound

TRUDY: Hey, you played great up there. Did you write all the guitar solos.
DAN: Oh, heh, thanks, no, I used to. But not anymore.

DAN: John said it would be a more unified sound if he wrote all the parts. He also said my solos "lack urgency."

TRUDY: Jesus... sounds like a real pretentious dick.
JOHN: Who sounds like a pretentious dick?
DAN: You do, man.

JOHN: Yeah, well, so did Lennon. You wanna give a hand with these amps?
DAN: Hey, I gotta go....

First music you bought

GREG: Man, my dad just told me the first music he ever bought was Revolver!! Freakin' Revolver, man! So cool....

BRETT: Nice. What was your first?
GREG: I... I think it was a 45 of "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."

BRETT: Good Lord.

BRETT: Look, if anyone else ever asks you that, just like and sat Surfer Rosa, dude....
GREG: It also might have been a cassingle of "Shoop"...