Comics and posts about band strife | Bassist Wanted

Gordon wants a solo album

GORDON CRANWICK: But Kevin got to put out a solo album!
BART: Kevin is the frontman. He's the Rob Thomas of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell am I then?!
BART: You're the Tom Poston of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell's Tom Poston?!
BART: He was on Newhart, Gordon.

GORDON CRANWICK: So what the hell does that mean?
BART: It means "no solo for Gordo." Barbra, is Newhart out on DVD yet?
BARBRA: No, sir.

Jumpstart Malady meets Giant Drag

MICAH CALABRESE: Are you guys almost done? We need to set up.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, sure. All yours. You're "Giant Drug"?
ANNIE HARDY: Giant DRAG.
PETER WELD: Hi, I'm Peter.

MICAH CALABRESE: I'm Micah. That's Annie.
KEVIN EDO: Just two of you, huh?
ANNIE HARDY: Yeah, I play guitar. He plays keyboard and drums.
PETER WELD: At the same time?

MICAH CALABRESE: Yeah.
KEVIN EDO: So... what's the story? You guys fucking?
ANNIE HARDY: Well, I FUCKING think your music eats dick.

KEVIN EDO: Ooo, like the foul mouth. Here's my hotel key....
ANNIE HARDY: Lick a hole and die.
MICAH CALABRESE: There's hummus all over these cymbals.
PETER WELD: Wait... at the SAME TIME?

Figuring out the setlist

KEVIN EDO: OK, we're pulling into Chicago. Let's talk setlist.
PETER WELD: Whatever you guys decide is fine.
GORDON CRANWICK: I want at least 3 of my songs in the show.

KEVIN EDO: Well... now we do need to play our hits.
PETER WELD: Someone just post the list on my high-hat.
GORDON CRANWICK: Is that some sort of indirect jab at my songs?

KEVIN EDO: I didn't mean to be indirect, Gordon.
PETER WELD: And grab me for the encore. I'll be here in the bus.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fuck you, Kevin! I'm not playing tonight!

KEVIN EDO: None of us are playing. They're dubbing in the music.
GORDON CRANWICK: Well, then I'm not FAKE playing!
PETER WELD: Shit. OK, I need somebody's Warcraft login.

Rehearsal day solution

DAN: OK, so it's settled. We'll keep band rehearsal on Wednesday nights. Except when there's a new "Lost" on. Then we practice on Mondays.

DAN: Unless it's the first Monday of the month. Then we go on Thursday. But if Roni's little sister has a soccer game, we do Friday.

CHRISTINA: If I'm not out-of-town.
DAN: Yeah. If you are, we either cancel, or we do three separate half-hour rehearsals the following week.

RONI: Wouldn't it have just been easier to break up the band?
DAN: We also voted 3-to-1 that "Cathartic Target Practice" is a totebags lame song.
JOHN: It's a GREAT song.

Happy with the mix

AGENT: OK, so we're good now? You're both happy with what we're doing with the song?
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yes.

AGENT: Kevin's parts have been removed entirely.
KEVIN EDO: Right, I'm not involved at ALL.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, NO guitar.

AGENT: We're putting it as the 8th of 10 songs on the album.
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fine, bury it. But it's ON the album.

AGENT: And the song will be titled "Kevin Edo is an egotistical asshole".
GORDON CRANWICK: YES.
KEVIN EDO: Call it whatever you like, NO one listens past track 5....

I want it in writing

KEVIN EDO: Don't take that the wrong way, Gordon, I just--
GORDON CRANWICK: Excuse me?! I can't believe-- I want that in writing, Kevin.

KEVIN EDO: Come on, look--
GORDON CRANWICK: No, here: "I, Kevin Edo, state that Gordon Cranwick's songwriting lacks heart." Sign it!

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I'm not signing this, Gordon, when, when....

KEVIN EDO: You know, it's not so much "heart" as it is "emotion."
GORDON CRANWICK: Make whatever changes you like! I'll initial them!

Fixed mix

GORDON CRANWICK: This mix sucks, Kevin! You purposefully made a crappy mix of the one song I have on this album!
KEVIN EDO: That's not true.

GORDON CRANWICK: It's a fix! You fixed the mix!
KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I did the best mix I could with that song, Gordon.

GORDON CRANWICK: The best mix?! I told you Peter's drums were lame, why didn't you turn them up?!

KEVIN EDO: I can turn up the drums, Gordon, but I can't turn up the heart!
PETER WELD: My drums were lame. You know, I don't think I get your song, Gordon.