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Band contest

A topic in 14 comics.

Presentation of the Trophy

Jun 6, 2007

RONI: Hi, excuse me, you're in Atrium Sister, right? The Ambulance Men have something for you.
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #3: What's up?
JOHN: Nothing's up. Nevermind.
RONI: JOHN!
JOHN: (sigh) So... you guys "won" our band contest. Sorry I made it seem like you didn't.
JOHN: Sorry I gave the trophy to us, especially since we didn't even play in the contest.
RONI: AND?
JOHN: AND... sorry for unplugging your amps during your set.
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #3: This trophy already has "Ambulance men" engraved on it....

Bumped From Our Own Contest

May 30, 2007

RONI: Whattya mean we're not playing?
JOHN: It's Joey's club, Roni! What can I do?
DAN: Woo! You guys, my K-Fed impression is KILLING!!
JOHN: Dan, Joey said we have to cut a band.
RONI: And that it has to be US.
JOHN: We've just been bumped from our own band contest.
DAN: Wait, wait, wait, hold on...
DAN: Are you saying I won't have time to play PARTY QUIRKS!?
RONI: I'm afraid so, Danny.
JOEY:

You’ll Need To Cut a Band

May 23, 2007

JOHN: OK, Joey. We're all set up.
JOEY: Oh, John, about your little show. You only until 7:50 now.
JOEY: You'll need to cut a band from your contest. YOUR band.
JOHN: What!? No!! Why!?
JOEY: Because you suck. And because Jenny Lewis needs more setup time.
JOHN: No! Joey! Where is she? I'll talk to her!
JOEY: John, what have I told you about talking to the real bands?
JOHN: Why does she need more time? Did a fucking third Watson twin materialize?

Whole Point of Running a Contest

May 16, 2007

JOHN: OK, let's use this rehearsal time to go over decorations for the band contest. First, the streamers...
RONI: Jesus, we haven't rehearsed in weeks!
RONI: I though the whole point of running this contest was to have more time to play our music!
JOHN: Wow, Roni, I... I'm sorry.
JOHN: You were way off on that.
JOHN: Now, who has the glue gun?
CHRISTINA: What do you think of this taupe for the gift bags?
DAN: Ooo...
RONI: When did you all... Voltron into Tim Gunn?

We Don’t Do Bringer Shows

May 9, 2007

JOHN: Just saw your guys' set. Wanna be in our band contest next week?
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #1: Sorry, man. We don't do bringer shows.
JOHN: Ooo! "No bringers"! I'm so impressed! Think you're better than us?
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #1: You're in a band?
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #2: Yeah, he's in the, uh... the "Ambulance men".
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #2: We saw 'em last months at Parkside, remember? They had that Jeefro kid, kept tripping on the mic stand.
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #1: Oh yeah!
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #1: Yeah, man, we definitely think we're better than you.
ATRIUM SISTER GUY #2: This dude's the singer. We, heh, we called him "Francis Scott Off-key"...

Contest Negotiations

Jan 16, 2007

JOEY: John, I don't want your shitty band at my venue.
JOHN: But it won't be just us, Joey! It'll be a band contest! A bringer show! 5 other bands!
JOEY: 15 other bands.
JOHN: 8!
JOEY: 12.
JOHN: 10!
JOEY: Done. 10 other bands. One hour. Your band is only to on stage for five minutes. You hear me?
JOHN: Ha! Yes! You will not regret this, Joey!
JOEY: I'll be right by the soundboard, John. I got an itchy trigger finger, and I love house music.

Our Own Band Contest

Jan 9, 2007

JOHN: Maybe we should run our own band contest. We could rig it so we could win.
DAN: Yeah!
RONI: Maybe we should practice more often so we sound better, and focus on the playing and songwriting and not on meaningless contests.
DAN: Yeah.
JOHN: Ooo, we could get a cool trophy engraved with our names on it!
RONI: (sigh)
DAN: Ooo, yeah!

Ride Home From The Contest

Dec 15, 2006

JOHN: "Show of hands".... Pfft.... It's a fucking unscientific way to decide a band contest.
DAN: That bartender was cute, right?
CHRISTINA: She was, yeah.
DAN: Think she liked me?
CHRISTINA: I dunno, Danny. I mean, she never talked to you. Or looked directly at you.
JOHN: I mean, the guy running the contest was in the winning band! That's bullshit!
RONI: John, we just didn't bring enough people. That's it.
JOHN: We should contact the Better Business Bureau.
RONI: Yeah, I'll call "Fox 5 On Our Side".
DAN: Maybe she was gay.
CHRISTINA: I bet she was, sweetie.

Who’s Here To Support Your Band?

Dec 13, 2006

NATE: Yeah, our usual contingent of fans are here to vote for us, those 50 or so people back by the bar.
NATE: Who's here to support your band?
DAN: Well, them over there. They're here for us.
NATE: The one Korean guy?
DAN: Well, and his two little kids. Oh, and there! That old Italian woman. That's John's mom.
MOM:
NATE: She's got one of our t-shirts on, dude.
DAN: Oh. OK. Well, just the Koreans then.

Christina’s Family At the Concert

Dec 11, 2006

JAMES: Hey Honey! We're here and we're...
GRIFFIN: READY TO ROCK!
SABINE: READY TO ROCK!
CHRISTINA: Thanks, guys!
JAMES: We practiced that in the car on the way here.
CHRISTINA: Aw...
JOHN: Christina, can you help backstage? We--
JOHN: Ow! Hey! Quit it!
GRIFFIN: You should let Momma have more drum solos!
JAMES: We practiced this, too....
GRIFFIN: You sing outside your range!
JOHN: Ow! Christina! Control your spawn!

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