Comics and posts about Ayok the incoherent guy | Bassist Wanted

Signing Shukri

BART: Joel, now that this Twilight kid's single hit number one, I'd like you to sign his new girlfriend, Shukri.

JOEL: Does... (sigh) Does she have any musical talent?
BART: No, but she's got a great story!

BART: She's an African orphan, adopted and brought to America by popstar Kevin Edo, who she then dated. She's got buzz and major star power.

SHUKRI: And I have an amazing rack.
JOEL: I thought she was dating Robert Pattinson?
BART: She was. From 2pm to 2:30. It's over.
AYOK: Sxbl.

Keeping upright

JAMES: This Twilight kid is amazing. I've never seen someone so over-medicated and over-sexed still stand up straight. How does he do it?

JOEL: Star power. Pure star power.

A pause.

JOEL: Also, he has these neat biometric leg braces they use for people with M.S.
JAMES: Cool...

Max the backing track

JOEL: For this track, let's turn the Twilight kid totally down and max out the backing vocals.
ROCCO: I already was, man.

ROCCO: I get what you're doing, man, secretly recording the songs of this backing band. It's cool of you to give these kids a shot.
JOEL: Oh, uh, thanks...

JOEL: So wait, if Ayok's turned down, how am I still hearing him? Isn't this room soundproof?
ROCCO: It IS soundproof.

ROCCO: It is NOT shit proof...
JOEL: Goddammit, he's humping the amps again... Ayok! NO! Down! DOWN!!

We’re gonna get you recorded

JOEL: OK, we're gonna get you guys recorded. I hired you as session players for the Twilight kid's new record.
JAMES: We don't know his songs.

JOEL: Neither does he. We're just gonna record YOUR songs in between his bullshit...
JAMES: He won't notice?

JOEL: Hey Ayok, we're recording these guys' songs today. Also, we'll be shoving four or five needles into your peehole.
AYOK: Svnse wrfl...

JOEL: He seems OK with it.
JAMES: Dammit! He's chewing through my mandolin again!

Signing specific talent

JOEL: Hey, I'm in A&R at Hancock Records. Just caught your set. You guys are GREAT.
JAMES: THANKS! Heh, wanna sign us?

JOEL: HA! I WISH.
JAMES: Well... you ARE in A&R... you COULD sign us, right?

JOEL: It doesn't work like that anymore. I get ordered to sign specific talent that "synergizes our larger corporate goals".
JAMES: LAME.

JOEL: So then who're you here to sign?
JAMES: The gentlemen out there having public sex on the Honda.

Planning Ayok’s signing

JOEL: Your client is getting a recording contract with us. I guess we're supposed to have the press take photos of the signing tonight.

AYOK: Pmgs sffj.
JOEL: Should we do it onstage? Right when he finishes his set?
TONY KING: He's not doing a set. He can't sing or play music.

JOEL: Well. That'll make recording interesting.
TONY KING: Pput a sticker on the CD that says "Some Guy from Twilight". We'll be OK.

AYOK: Akmdf! AOKOKGIIFNFNSR!!!
JOEL: He... seems to be having some sort of SEIZURE.
TONY KING: He's fine. He just needs another vodka and Ambien.

Meeting Twilight guy

JOEL: Hi, are you "Ayok"? I'm from Hancock Records. I'm here to sign you.
AYOK: Grnlk brzlm.
TONY KING: I'm Ayok's agent. He says "cool."

JOEL: Is he... is he OK?
AYOK: Shkbrs wprprd.
TONY KING: Look, the kid's in TWILIGHT. He's a fucking shirtless GOLDMINE. Don't rock the boat, OK?

HANDJOB GIRL: Excuse me... can- can I please give him another handjob?
AYOK: Aoosdk sdwr.
TONY KING: Make it quick.