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Audience

A topic in 4 comics.

Manufacturing indie cred

Mar 26, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: OK, Gordon... we replaced the ACTUAL intimate folk open mic audience with industry YES-MEN, your TWITTER followers and paid BACKGROUND ACTORS.
TONY KING THE AGENT: We've also GUTTED the club and put in TVs, LIGHTING and a state-of-the-art $500,000 SOUNDSYSTEM.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK...
GORDON CRANWICK: This'll still give me INDIE CRED though, right?
TONY KING THE AGENT: SURE, SURE... we just gotta phrase the press release carefully, big guy...
GORDON CRANWICK: BLEAH! These melons are too FRESH!!

Laying down some crowdtalk

Mar 25, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: (singing) Creatioooon of broooken- Oops, lemme take that again...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Ha! Kinda tough when it's not PRERECORDED, huh, man? STICK TO STADIUMS, SELLOUT!
GORDON CRANWICK: Be COOL, Gordon... This is that classic AUDIENCE INTERACTION you get in small venue shows. We just gotta lay some charming CROWDTALK on him, like you did in the old days.
GORDON CRANWICK: SECURITY, get this little ASSTOASTER out of my SIGHT!
GORDON CRANWICK: Guess that crowdtalk muscle has ATROPHIED a little...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: HEY, you can't just- OW!! Hands off the DREADS, dude!!!

No show for Gordo

Mar 24, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: There's no one fucking HERE, Colin!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: We don't get big crowds. I TOLD you that.
GORDON CRANWICK: But Gordon Cranwick of Jumpstart Malady is doing a surprise impromptu acoustic SOLO SET!!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you said NOT to advertise it.
GORDON CRANWICK: I figured you wouldn't be able to contain yourself!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Yes, well... sadly I successfully contained myself.
GORDON CRANWICK: I've been practicing for this impromptu set for weeks!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Look, we gotta get started. They do a Guitar Hero tournament in here at 9...

Audience hate = respect

Sep 18, 2008

JOHN: ...and if you get another guitar, we can even do the thing where we make the audience wait while you switch them.
DAN: Don't they hate that?
JOHN: Audience golden rule: what they HATE, they RESPECT.
DAN: Even that night at Rockwood? That was all... respect.
JOHN: Oh, totally. TOTAL respect.
DAN: Even that old handicapped woman?
JOHN: Well, yeah, you gotta, y'know, read between the fistfights.

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Bassist Wanted

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