Comics and posts about Apple | Bassist Wanted

Full metal iPod

GREG: This is my iPod. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My iPod is my life. Without it, I am useless. Without me, it is useless...

GREG: My iPod and I know what counts is not music reviews, or the noise of Pitchfork... it's the hits that count. Before Steve Jobs, we swear this creed...

GREG: My iPod and I are masters of my enemies, defenders of my questionable taste, saviors of my life...

GREG: So be it, until there is no enemy... but only Feist.

iPhone line

PASSERBY: Line for iPhones?
GREG: Line for NEXT YEAR'S iPhones?

PASSERBY: You're waiting in line a year for a new iPhone?
GREG: The FIRST new iPhone.

A pause.

PASSERBY: You're an idiot.
GREG: The FIRST idiot.

Needing a video iPod

GREG: Brett, Apple announced the video iPod! Can't wait to get it!
BRETT: You're BUYING one? You just bought the Nano! You're not pissed off?!

GREG: Pissed off? No! Why? There's a new little bundle of joy in the iPod family!
BRETT: Greg! Don't you see they do this just to suck more money out of you?

GREG: Brett, Apple's not like that. The release dates just... worked out that way. And it's not like they WANT things to be expensive. They... they can't help it.

BRETT: You sound like a battered wife, you toolbox.
GREG: Apple... Apple loves its customers so much... and sometimes... love hurts.

Filling an iPod Nano

GREG: Now, my iPod Nano is 4GB, so it can't fit my whole iTunes library like my regular iPod. I'll need a strategy for which stuff makes the cut.

GREG: Clearly, a dynamic playlist makes sense, but do I order the songs by most recently added or most often played?

GREG: And there's the issue of podcasts. Obviously I want my favorites on there, but their large filesizes pose a problem.

BRETT: Hey, don't you need to get to work?
GREG: Took the week off. NOW... I've drawn up several endgame scenarios....

Protecting an iPod Nano

GREG: AUGH! BRETT!! Be careful with my new Nano!!!
BRETT: Jesus, I was just going to pick it up, Greg!

GREG: iPod Nanos scratch VERY easily, Brett. I've only been touching it once a day. The rest of the time I leave it out of direct sunlight, inside this sealed glass case filled with oxygen.

BRETT: Mmm.

BRETT: So... you enjoying it so far?
GREG: Oh yeah, keeping myself further from it really reinforces how SMALL it is.

Buying an iPod Nano

GREG: I'd like an iPod Nano, please.
APPLE STORE GUY: Mmm. Are you going to wear that shirt when you use it?

GREG: What?
APPLE STORE GUY: iPods have a very specific style, sir, and Apple has to ensure that iPod owners mesh with that style.

GREG: Well, OK, sure, I could wear a different shirt.
APPLE STORE GUY: Yes, and new jeans, too. Here's the address of a nearby Urban Outfitters.

GREG: All right.
APPLE STORE GUY: This is a good start. Now... how attached are you to this, well, let's call it a "beard"....

Needing an iPod Nano

GREG: I need an iPod Nano, Brett. It's impossibly small. I NEED it.
BRETT: Greg. No. You already have a regular iPod....

GREG: And I need the Apple lanyard headphones so my Nano can hang from my neck. I NEED that.
BRETT: You have an iPod Shuffle, too. And an iPod Photo.

GREG: I'll need the more expensive 4GB Nano, of course.
BRETT: And inexplicably, Greg, you have FIVE iPod Minis.

GREG: Because the 4GB's a better value, Brett. And I... I need value.
BRETT: Steve Jobs thinks about people like you when he masturbates, Greg.