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Annual reviews

A topic in 4 comics.

John’s annual review

Mar 8, 2009

JOHN: Why is my mom even here AT ALL?
CHRISTINA: You said that I could run your annual review HOWEVER I wanted.
JOHN: But you didn't even invite ME, Christina!
CHRISTINA: This is how I review students at my SCHOOL, John.
CHRISTINA: Mrs. Romero, he gets very difficult during long rehearsal. Any tips?
JOHN'S MOM: Well, my Johnny gets VERY fussy when he's hungry.
JOHN: I am NOT! Mom! QUIT it!
CHRISTINA: Interesting...
JOHN'S MOM: So I always keep a sugar cookie in my purse...
JOHN: OOO, gimme...

Dan’s annual review

Mar 5, 2009

JOHN: All right, Dan, time for your annual review. I've graded your performance in the band in a variety of categories. Have a look...
DAN: Whoa, wait, what? "Falling Down on Stage Right in the Middle of Our God Damn Songs" is a CATEGORY?
JOHN: Yes. Yes, it is.
JOHN: Do you dispute your score of "OFTEN, IF NOT CONSTANTLY"?
DAN: I do not...
JOHN: Moving on then...

Roni’s annual review

Mar 4, 2009

JOHN: OK, NAME: Roni Videtta... official TITLE: lead guitarist...
RONI: John, I'm not doing an annual review. We're not a real company.
JOHN: So we'll be evaluating you in several categories, OK?
RONI: We just made the band a corporation to save money on taxes.
JOHN: First: "TECHNICAL PROFICIENCY". I have you down for a 4 out of 5.
RONI: I put up with enough stuff like this at my day job, so-
RONI: I would argue I'm at LEAST a 4.5.
JOHN: Next up... "SHOWING CLEAVAGE AT SHOWS", an area you could really improve in...

Calling human resources

Mar 3, 2009

SCOTT THE LAWYER: ...and then sign here.
RONI: OK.
SCOTT THE LAWYER: OK... Your band is now incorporated.
JOHN: I CALL HUMAN RESOURCES!
RONI: No, there's no "calling" and there's no human-
JOHN: Standard shotgun rules, Roni. Your lawyer here can back me up.
JOHN: Now, first thing I'd like to do is broach the subject of annual reviews.
RONI: Can you un-notarize this?
SCOTT THE LAWYER: No.

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