Comics and posts about concerts | Page 2 | Bassist Wanted

Outdoor concerts

BRETT: Why again do I go to summer outdoor concerts? The bugs? The overpriced, warm beer? The obnoxious, sweaty, all ages crowd?

BRETT: The bands look like ants from here, and the songs sound either poorly rehearsed or banal and mechanical. This is lame, Greg. This is totebags lame.

GREG: Well, but when you have kids, you get to tell them you saw this band live.

BRETT: Screw my kids, man. I'm getting a slurpee.
GREG: Yeah... mmph. This opening band has me considering a vasectomy.

A unified sound

TRUDY: Hey, you played great up there. Did you write all the guitar solos.
DAN: Oh, heh, thanks, no, I used to. But not anymore.

DAN: John said it would be a more unified sound if he wrote all the parts. He also said my solos "lack urgency."

TRUDY: Jesus... sounds like a real pretentious dick.
JOHN: Who sounds like a pretentious dick?
DAN: You do, man.

JOHN: Yeah, well, so did Lennon. You wanna give a hand with these amps?
DAN: Hey, I gotta go....

Time estimates for the concert tonight

GREG: OK. So. Doors open at 7. Opening band starts at 8.
BRETT: They're done at 9:30. The main band goes on at 10.

GREG: They play all the crappy songs off their new album for an hour.
BRETT: They play old, crowd-pleasing radio hits until 11:30.

GREG: We get there at midnight, to catch the encore with the heartfelt acoustic number.
BRETT: ...and the showstopping cover of some Kinks' song.

GREG: OK, great... hey, which band are we seeing again?
BRETT: I forget. I think they were big in the 90's. Or 80's.

Getting approached after the show

JOHN: I always wanted someone to come up after a show and say, "Your songs really moved me."
DAN: Yeah, or like, "You looked hot up there."

JOHN: "Your lyrics... they're like poetry... sweet, sweet poetry."
DAN: "The way you move up there, it just... drove me crazy."

JOHN: "You're the most exciting songwriter of our generation!!"
DAN: "Daniel Lepp, I wanna ride you like Space Mountain!!"

RONI: What's, ah..... What's up, guys?
DAN: H-hey, Roni, I, uh... look I'll be right back, OK?
JOHN: "You! Not Conor Oberst! Not #@*?ing Conor Oberst!!"

After the breakup

JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

JOHN: And so now it's like, what now? Where do I go? It's all gone, my future, I don't even... it's all gone.

DAN: I hear ya, man. It's... you know, it's tough. And whenever you wanna talk, you just let me know.

DAN: We should probably finish this set first though maybe.

First time at North 6th

JOHN: Wow... our first show at North 6th! Man, this rules.
DAN: Hey look! Someone's scalping tickets!

JOHN: Hey man, how much are these going for?
BEN: I dunno, at this point, I guess like $3 each.

BEN: They're been kinda hard to unload. People just don't wanna pay to see one good band and one crappy little local band.

JOHN: Hey... we are that crappy little local band, man.
BEN: OK... well, I could knock it down to $4 for both, but that's about it...

Food Service

GREG: So who are we seeing tonight?
BRETT: The band's called "Underbelly". You know them. They're the guys who work at the Panera bread on Franklin.

GREG: OK, right.
BRETT: And then I'd like to get to Ninth Street to see "Dangerlouse".

GREG: Those're the guys who work at Pepper's pizza?
BRETT: No that's "Tagliaboo". These're the guys from Burrito Bunker.

GREG: Man, this town has such an amazing music scene....
BRETT: Yes, and a thriving food service industry.

Accept your groupie-ness

REYNOLDS: Ted. Admit it. You're a groupie for the Spinster Whores.
TED: I am not, dude! I'm just dating Karen, so... so I help out some...

REYNOLDS: Yeah, "dating". And before that you were "dating" Joanna... and before that, Cindy.
TED: So what?!

TED: We were in love! Each time! And I'm sorry if my love threatens you so much you have to call me a... a "groupie".

REYNOLDS: Dude, you run their damn merch stand for them...
TED: I am just helping!!!

Only way to buy tickets

CARLOS: Can't... can't we buy tickets on the band's site? Or... or through the venue?
STEPHEN: No. Look, I'm sorry, OK? This is the only way.

CARLOS: I just... I hate using them. I hate it.
STEPHEN: I know, I know, but we have no choice... just click "submit".

SOUND EFFECT: KRAKOW! TICKETMASTER DEMON: Who dares summon the great and powerful Ticketmaster!

CARLOS: We... (sigh) we want White Stripes tickets.
TMDEMON: Then you will pay, mortal!!! First, a $6 service fee for every letter in your middle name!!!

No free drinks

JOHN: Joe, the bartender won't gimme a free drink, I thought--
JOEY: John... look, no, OK? You're lucky I even let you guys play....

JOHN: Man, Joe, look, I know we're local, but we're still a band. We deserve some perks. I mean, hell, we brought a bunch of fans to your club!

JOEY: You brought one person, dude... and she wasn't a fan.

JOHN: My mom is still is a fan, Joe!!
MOM: Johnny-honey, you need to jack up Daniel's vocals. I couldn't hear him for poop.