Comics and posts about Auto-Tune | Page 2 | Bassist Wanted

Barry and Mega-Tune

BARRY: Attention listeners: this radio station will now only play simplified, one-note versions of songs created through a horrifying process called "MEGA-TUNE".

BARRY: You'll grumble, but then submit. As you have to every atrocity during what has become a 40-year march toward the complete homogenization of rock.

BARRY: So... after the break, I'll play all of John Mellancamp's "American Fool", but you'll just hear nine single notes matched with nine semi-patriotic grunts.

BARRY: It's gonna suck, but you deserve it. And I'm BARRY, the HONEST DJ. Back after this...
BRETT: Barry speaks the truth and it hurts so good.

The value-add of Mega-Tune

MEGA-TUNE: Monogamy.
GREG: That's... "Single Ladies"?
GREG: Yes! GOOD!

GREG: I love these one-note songs. I mean... I don't actually LIKE most songs I'm supposed to like. But this way, they're... TOLERABLE.

GREG: So... THANK YOU.

GREG: You've made my mindless devotion to pop SO easier to stomach.
GREG: Oh, tt is our PLEASURE, sir!

Decision time

MEGA-TUNE: Sociopath. Sociopath. Sociopath.
TESTER: ...and that, of course, was a Rivers Cuomo medley.

TESTER: DECISION TIME! Do you like the regular songs, or the one-note Mega-Tuned versions?
GREG: Um, the short ones are... CATCHY, but the regular ones have, you know, MELODIES.

TESTER: I need an answer, Greg! Now now NOW!
GREG: AUGH! I- uh- t-the Mega-Tuned ones!!?!

TESTER: Oh good, we hoped you'd say that...
GREG: Oh thank GOD...

Consumers don’t like decisions

TESTER: So which version of the song do you like more?
GREG: I DUNNO...

BART: Consumers don't LIKE decisions, Joel. They want us to TELL them what's right. THEY NEED US.
JOEL: You talk like they're HELPLESS. They aren't scared little CHILDREN, sir.

GREG: Um... I... I have to go potty.

BART: AREN'T they, Joel? AREN'T they?
TESTER: Sir, put that DOWN. Sir... SIR, get that OUT of your mouth! Drop it... DROP it!

Megatuning “Viva La Vida”

TESTER: Greg, we're going to play two versions of a song, and we want to know which one you like better, OK?
GREG: OK.

COLDPLAY: For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name, Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world

MEGA-TUNE: Overwrought.

GREG: Hmm. The second one was definitely... SHORTER...
BART: Write down that subject finds Mega-Tuned version is "PEPPY" and "FUN".

Memorable

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?

BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.

MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!

BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

Songwriters

MEGA-TUNE: STATUTORY!
KURT: Dat was early Taylor Shvift song.
JOEL: Ugh, sir, what's the point of reducing these songs to single notes?

BART: Joel, each year our label loses billions. Why? SONGWRITERS. Due to arcane copyright laws, they rake in cash, hand over fist.

BART: Do you know they sometimes get paid almost THREE CENTS per dollar!? Just because they "wrote" the song. DisGUSTing.

BART: Well, Joel... you can't copyright a note.
MEGA-TUNE: MONEY!
KURT: Dat was dat Pink Floyd song.

A single vord

KURT: Vit Mega-Tune, we not only simplify music, but also lyrics.

KURT: Each song reduces to a single vord. Observe.

MEGA-TUNE: AMERICA! LOVE! PENIS!

KURT: Dat was de National Anthem, "Something" by de Beatles und, of course, Aerosmith's "Dude Who Look Like de Lady".
JOEL: Oof.

Beethoven’s Fifth

KURT: Ve call de process Mega-Tune. It accepts a piece of music, und returns dat piece of music simplified to a single note.

KURT: So, here ist Beethoven's 5th.
SOUND: Complicated music.

KURT: Und here is Mega-Tuned version.
SOUND: Single note.

KURT: Compelling, ja?
JOEL: It's HORRIBLE.
BART: I like it. It's HOOKY.

Extraneous noise

KURT: Ve find dat much of a song is extraneous... NOISE, ja? So ve say, "Vhy not shtrip de song of all but de ESSENTIAL bits und pieces?"

KURT: So ve shtrip it down to VON note.
JOEL: ONE note?
BART: ONE note.

KURT: Ja...

KURT: Usually, it's a "C".
JOEL: Dear GOD.
BART: He's gonna save us BILLIONS.