Buying an iPod Nano

GREG: I'd like an iPod Nano, please.
APPLE STORE GUY: Mmm. Are you going to wear that shirt when you use it?
GREG: What?
APPLE STORE GUY: iPods have a very specific style, sir, and Apple has to ensure that iPod owners mesh with that style.
GREG: Well, OK, sure, I could wear a different shirt.
APPLE STORE GUY: Yes, and new jeans, too. Here's the address of a nearby Urban Outfitters.
GREG: All right.
APPLE STORE GUY: This is a good start. Now... how attached are you to this, well, let's call it a "beard"....