Comics with Brett the hipster | Bassist Wanted

Food Service

GREG: So who are we seeing tonight?
BRETT: The band's called "Underbelly". You know them. They're the guys who work at the Panera bread on Franklin.

GREG: OK, right.
BRETT: And then I'd like to get to Ninth Street to see "Dangerlouse".

GREG: Those're the guys who work at Pepper's pizza?
BRETT: No that's "Tagliaboo". These're the guys from Burrito Bunker.

GREG: Man, this town has such an amazing music scene....
BRETT: Yes, and a thriving food service industry.

Buying a CD/consumer revolution

GREG: Do you know why I'm here in this damn Tower Records buying this album? Because I support this band. Because I believe in this band.

GREG: Because I want to be part of a full-scale consumer revolution that brings them to their rightful place as the kings of God damn rock n' roll!!!

CHLORIS: That'll be $18.99.
GREG: Do you take credit cards, my friend!?

BRETT: Can I burn that from you later?
GREG: Sure, man... make a copy for Kim, too.
CHLORIS: This is coming up as declined, sir.

Time estimates for the concert tonight

GREG: OK. So. Doors open at 7. Opening band starts at 8.
BRETT: They're done at 9:30. The main band goes on at 10.

GREG: They play all the crappy songs off their new album for an hour.
BRETT: They play old, crowd-pleasing radio hits until 11:30.

GREG: We get there at midnight, to catch the encore with the heartfelt acoustic number.
BRETT: ...and the showstopping cover of some Kinks' song.

GREG: OK, great... hey, which band are we seeing again?
BRETT: I forget. I think they were big in the 90's. Or 80's.

First music you bought

GREG: Man, my dad just told me the first music he ever bought was Revolver!! Freakin' Revolver, man! So cool....

BRETT: Nice. What was your first?
GREG: I... I think it was a 45 of "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."

BRETT: Good Lord.

BRETT: Look, if anyone else ever asks you that, just like and sat Surfer Rosa, dude....
GREG: It also might have been a cassingle of "Shoop"...

Starting a podcast

GREG: In addition to my LiveJournal and my Flickr feed, I've decided to start my own podcast....
BRETT: That audio blog thing? Man, why do you produce all that crap?

GREG: Why? Why?!? Because my voice aches to be heard! Because the world needs to hear what I have to say! Because it is my right! Because I can!!

GREG: And because it doesn't take too much effort.

BRETT: Well, thank God the Internet has now empowered you to create pointless content in every possible medium.
GREG: Just makin' that long tail a l'il longer, baby!

Outdoor concerts

BRETT: Why again do I go to summer outdoor concerts? The bugs? The overpriced, warm beer? The obnoxious, sweaty, all ages crowd?

BRETT: The bands look like ants from here, and the songs sound either poorly rehearsed or banal and mechanical. This is lame, Greg. This is totebags lame.

GREG: Well, but when you have kids, you get to tell them you saw this band live.

BRETT: Screw my kids, man. I'm getting a slurpee.
GREG: Yeah... mmph. This opening band has me considering a vasectomy.

Needing an iPod Nano

GREG: I need an iPod Nano, Brett. It's impossibly small. I NEED it.
BRETT: Greg. No. You already have a regular iPod....

GREG: And I need the Apple lanyard headphones so my Nano can hang from my neck. I NEED that.
BRETT: You have an iPod Shuffle, too. And an iPod Photo.

GREG: I'll need the more expensive 4GB Nano, of course.
BRETT: And inexplicably, Greg, you have FIVE iPod Minis.

GREG: Because the 4GB's a better value, Brett. And I... I need value.
BRETT: Steve Jobs thinks about people like you when he masturbates, Greg.

Protecting an iPod Nano

GREG: AUGH! BRETT!! Be careful with my new Nano!!!
BRETT: Jesus, I was just going to pick it up, Greg!

GREG: iPod Nanos scratch VERY easily, Brett. I've only been touching it once a day. The rest of the time I leave it out of direct sunlight, inside this sealed glass case filled with oxygen.

BRETT: Mmm.

BRETT: So... you enjoying it so far?
GREG: Oh yeah, keeping myself further from it really reinforces how SMALL it is.

Filling an iPod Nano

GREG: Now, my iPod Nano is 4GB, so it can't fit my whole iTunes library like my regular iPod. I'll need a strategy for which stuff makes the cut.

GREG: Clearly, a dynamic playlist makes sense, but do I order the songs by most recently added or most often played?

GREG: And there's the issue of podcasts. Obviously I want my favorites on there, but their large filesizes pose a problem.

BRETT: Hey, don't you need to get to work?
GREG: Took the week off. NOW... I've drawn up several endgame scenarios....

Needing a video iPod

GREG: Brett, Apple announced the video iPod! Can't wait to get it!
BRETT: You're BUYING one? You just bought the Nano! You're not pissed off?!

GREG: Pissed off? No! Why? There's a new little bundle of joy in the iPod family!
BRETT: Greg! Don't you see they do this just to suck more money out of you?

GREG: Brett, Apple's not like that. The release dates just... worked out that way. And it's not like they WANT things to be expensive. They... they can't help it.

BRETT: You sound like a battered wife, you toolbox.
GREG: Apple... Apple loves its customers so much... and sometimes... love hurts.