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Jumpstart Malady (a famous band)

A character featured in 83 comics.

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Shukri meets the agent

Apr 12, 2010

KEVIN: Anthony, this is Shukri, my newly adopted African orphan daughter/lover. ANTHONY: I know Shukri. Took a meeting with her on Monday.
KEVIN: You met with my AGENT before you met ME? SHUKRI: Yes.
KEVIN: So, what? Are you REPPING her now? ANTHONY: Oh no no...
ANTHONY: She went with William Morris. SHUKRI: They have a stronger orphan division.

Legal divorce

Apr 16, 2010

KEVIN: Anthony? Where's SHUKRI? ANTHONY: I just heard from her agent. She's legally divorcing you as a parent. Also, she's screwing Robert Pattinson.
KEVIN: Whoa. So my adopted African daughter/lover left me for the guy from Twilight. ANTHONY: It's a tale as old as time.
KEVIN: Hey, did you ever find out for me how her parents died? ANTHONY: Yes. They were beheaded during a military coup she initiated.
KEVIN: (sigh) I'm gonna miss her. ANTHONY: She's quite a woman.

Signing Shukri

Apr 26, 2010

BART: Joel, now that this Twilight kid's single hit number one, I'd like you to sign his new girlfriend, Shukri.
JOEL: Does... (sigh) Does she have any musical talent? BART: No, but she's got a great story!
BART: She's an African orphan, adopted and brought to America by popstar Kevin Edo, who she then dated. She's got buzz and major star power.
SHUKRI: And I have an amazing rack. JOEL: I thought she was dating Robert Pattinson? BART: She was. From 2pm to 2:30. It's over. AYOK: Sxbl.

Creepy but noble

Apr 30, 2010

PETER: Well, for what it's worth, I think adopting that hot 19-year-old orphan was, though CREEPY, sort of NOBLE.
KEVIN: Yeah, I think, in the end, I'm just not fit for organized charity. PETER: So no more do-gooding?
KEVIN: Oh no, I just need to get back to how I USED to help people. PETER: How's that?
KEVIN: Having sex with the disadvantaged, man. PETER: You're one of the good ones, Kev.

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