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Roni the jaded guitarist

A character featured in 66 comics.

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Brooklyn Vegan link

Dec 16, 2009

CHRISTINA: Whoa, looks like BROOKLYN VEGAN linked to one of our mp3s.
JOHN: Whoa!
DAN: We're FAMOUS! Which one?
CHRISTINA: "Bickerhound"!
JOHN: No no NO! "Bickerhound" is a B-SIDE! "Cathartic TARGET Practice" is our breakout HIT!
JOHN: He needs to change it. Gimme this vegan guy's email number...
CHRISTINA: Jonathan, he can link to whatever he wants to.
JOHN: NO, he'll do what we SAY! WE'RE FAMOUS NOW!
DAN: YEAH! Ha ha!
RONI: You two have an extremely low fame tolerance.

Site’s down

Dec 18, 2009

CHRISTINA: Hmm... our site's down. Too many people are trying to download our demo mp3s.
JOHN: WHAT!? What's the fucking point of that?
JOHN: When our website WORKS, no one LOOKS at it, and as soon as people WANT to look at it, it friggin' shuts OFF? Who's our hosting company? O'HENRY?!
Silence.
JOHN: Yeah, that's right... I JUST MADE AN O'HENRY REFERENCE!
RONI: Today is a weird day.
CHRISTINA: Yes.

Traffic spike effect

Dec 23, 2009

CHRISTINA: Well, our site's traffic has returned to normal, and it looks like about 100,000 people downloaded our demo.
RONI: That's AMAZON!
JOHN: What's the point? They CAME and they LEFT. We got ZERO mailing list signups...
JOHN: And we sold ZERO t-shirts.
CHRISTINA: Actually we sold TWO t-shirts.
DAN: No, I bought those two.
JOHN: Great! We sold NEGATIVE two t-shirts...
DAN: Hey, is there a way for you to not, like, cash my Paypal thing until Friday?

People heard us

Dec 25, 2009

RONI: OK, so the little spike in web traffic didn't get us any new fans, but 100,000 people listened to our songs. People HEARD us. Isn't that the point of ART?
JOHN: ART? Who said anything about fuckin' ART?!
JOHN: I am in this band to get FAMOUS or get LAID.
RONI: Barf...
JOHN: And I don't care what order that comes in, Roni!

William’s audition

Jan 1, 2010

WILLIAM: I'm WIlliam Jang. I'm here for the bassist audition?
DAN: Hi Will!
RONI: Have you filled out your application?
WILLIAM: Heh, yeah...
RONI: Um…this is... mostly BLANK.
WILLIAM: Oh… I… I thought it was, like, a JOKE.
RONI: A JOKE?!
WILLIAM: Yeah... I mean, there's an ESSAY section.
DAN: Aw, just let him play, Roni...
RONI: He didn't even solve the TANGRAM puzzles!

Get a job

Jan 10, 2010

RONI: This BLOWS. Because of some tax thing, I won't get any of my dad's SETTLEMENT MONEY this month.
CHAR: Good...
RONI: You can get a JOB like the rest of us...
JOHN: I HAVE a job, Roni. I'm frontman of this BAND.
RONI: You sit around all day and do NOTHING.
JOHN: No, I work on stuff for the BAND.
RONI: John, you spent most of Friday photoshopping NIPPLES onto ZOE SALDANA pictures.
JOHN: For potential ALBUM covers for the BAND!

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