Comics with John the egomaniac singer | Page 11 | Bassist Wanted

The art of scrapbooking

SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet?
JOHN: I got one of my mom.

SCRAPPER: OK. Here she is on a blank sheet of paper. Feel anything?
JOHN: No. Not really.

SOUND: Glitter! Stars! Serrated edges! Double-sided tape! Puffy paint! Hearts! Scissors! Glue sticks! More glitter!

SCRAPPER: How about... NOW?
JOHN: (sniff) NO... (blubber) I... I have to use the (full-on crying) r-restroom...

Scrapbooked EP cover

DAN: C'mon, John. We gotta get to rehearsal.
JOHN: Man, EFF rehearsal... I'm working on a cover for our E.P.

DAN: It's got glitter and hearts and... UNICORNS all over it...
JOHN: Yeah... one of the scrapbookers helped me lay it out.

JOHN: Isn't it GREAT? It really captures the raw emotion of our live shows.

DAN: The puffy paint says, "Friendship is: hot cocoa on a cold day."
JOHN: THAT (sniff) THAT is rock music, man.

Changing the order

DAN: John, you can't change people's orders, dude.
JOHN: They'll appreciate the changes when it's done.

DAN: But... the customer is always right.
JOHN: Screw that. My idea is BETTER.

JOHN: I change what I want, when I want, if it'll improve the piece. I run my life like I run our band.
DAN: Yeah...

DAN: ...our band's not very SUCCESSFUL though.
JOHN: The new rule is: the customer is NOT always right, and is usually an IDIOT.

This isn’t a CD

JAMES: This isn't a CD. It's a bunch of construction paper and GLITTER.
JOHN: Uh, NO, it's a SCRAPBOOK and it's work of ART.

JAMES: We didn't order a SCRAPBOOK. We paid you to reproduce our CD.
JOHN: Oh, no, I destroyed your CD.

JAMES: That was our MASTER!
JOHN: It was GARBAGE. THIS captures the essence of your band.

JAMES: THIS is our album cover surrounded by pictures of a baby in a LOBSTER costume!
JOHN: It's... SO much more... Did you even READ the puffy paint?

You’re fired

KINKO'S BOSS: OK, Romero, you get your wish. You're fired.
JOHN: You can't fire me! I fire me!

JOHN: My dad's settlement money came through, so FUCK THIS DAYJOB!

JOHN: I'm going back to getting my money the way an artist SHOULD!

KINKO'S BOSS:: By falling ass-backwards into it via luck and/or family?
JOHN: It's how this country was built!

Free of the shackles

DAN: You happy to be free of the shackles of the dayjob?
JOHN: Oh yeah, man.

JOHN: And my settlement checks are even bigger than they were before, so I'm gonna donate some stuff to one of them starving African orphan kids.

JOHN: They say they need the essentials, so I'm thinking some Beatles CDs, some Stones, maybe early Bowie...

DAN: What about... FOOD?
JOHN: Um... sure, I could eat.