Comics with Dan the naive guitarist | Page 9 | Bassist Wanted

Site’s down

CHRISTINA: Hmm... our site's down. Too many people are trying to download our demo mp3s.
JOHN: WHAT!? What's the fucking point of that?

JOHN: When our website WORKS, no one LOOKS at it, and as soon as people WANT to look at it, it friggin' shuts OFF? Who's our hosting company? O'HENRY?!

Silence.

JOHN: Yeah, that's right... I JUST MADE AN O'HENRY REFERENCE!
RONI: Today is a weird day.
CHRISTINA: Yes.

Traffic spike effect

CHRISTINA: Well, our site's traffic has returned to normal, and it looks like about 100,000 people downloaded our demo.

RONI: That's AMAZON!
JOHN: What's the point? They CAME and they LEFT. We got ZERO mailing list signups...

JOHN: And we sold ZERO t-shirts.
CHRISTINA: Actually we sold TWO t-shirts.
DAN: No, I bought those two.

JOHN: Great! We sold NEGATIVE two t-shirts...
DAN: Hey, is there a way for you to not, like, cash my Paypal thing until Friday?

William’s audition

WILLIAM: I'm WIlliam Jang. I'm here for the bassist audition?
DAN: Hi Will!
RONI: Have you filled out your application?

WILLIAM: Heh, yeah...
RONI: Um…this is... mostly BLANK.

WILLIAM: Oh… I… I thought it was, like, a JOKE.
RONI: A JOKE?!

WILLIAM: Yeah... I mean, there's an ESSAY section.
DAN: Aw, just let him play, Roni...
RONI: He didn't even solve the TANGRAM puzzles!

My boss is still pissed

JOHN: My settlement money got cut off, Dan. Hook me up with a GIG. Something EASY. No collating.
DAN: I dunno, my boss is still pissed at you.

JOHN: What, because I double-parked him in that one time? C'mon!
DAN: But... his daughter was in LABOR, man. He missed the birth of his grandson.

JOHN: I've SEEN his daughter, Dan. BELIEVE me. He'll GET more grandkids.
DAN: Heh, YEAH…

DAN: Wait, what does that MEAN?
JOHN: It means I'll see to it PERSONALLY if I have to, Dan! Just let me talk to the guy!

Customer service

JOHN: … and I'm best suited for, oh, customer relations.
KINKO'S BOSS: Well, that's perfect, dipshit. I'll put you on some of our BEST customers.

DAN: WHOA...
KINKO'S BOSS: That's RIGHT, Lepp. Your little idiot SINGER friend is now an Assistant Customer Service Rep…

KINKO'S BOSS: ...in charge of SCRAPBOOKERS!

KINKO'S BOSS: A HA HA HA HA HA! Heh... ..
DAN: That's, like, a REALLY shitty role, man.
JOHN: Yeah, I GATHERED, Dan.

The scrapbooking menace

DAN: These scrapbookers think they're these creative GENIUSES, but they don't know how to use the EQUIPMENT, even though they need it to make their "art".

DAN: They make us do ALL the work, for something THEY take all the credit for, and they treat us like SHIT while they do it. It's... it's HORRIBLE, man.

DAN: They're like... a lead singer in a band.
JOHN: Like me in our band?

DAN: Well, like you, but like you if you weren't so BADASS...
JOHN: That DOES sound scary...

Scrapbooked EP cover

DAN: C'mon, John. We gotta get to rehearsal.
JOHN: Man, EFF rehearsal... I'm working on a cover for our E.P.

DAN: It's got glitter and hearts and... UNICORNS all over it...
JOHN: Yeah... one of the scrapbookers helped me lay it out.

JOHN: Isn't it GREAT? It really captures the raw emotion of our live shows.

DAN: The puffy paint says, "Friendship is: hot cocoa on a cold day."
JOHN: THAT (sniff) THAT is rock music, man.

Changing the order

DAN: John, you can't change people's orders, dude.
JOHN: They'll appreciate the changes when it's done.

DAN: But... the customer is always right.
JOHN: Screw that. My idea is BETTER.

JOHN: I change what I want, when I want, if it'll improve the piece. I run my life like I run our band.
DAN: Yeah...

DAN: ...our band's not very SUCCESSFUL though.
JOHN: The new rule is: the customer is NOT always right, and is usually an IDIOT.

Free of the shackles

DAN: You happy to be free of the shackles of the dayjob?
JOHN: Oh yeah, man.

JOHN: And my settlement checks are even bigger than they were before, so I'm gonna donate some stuff to one of them starving African orphan kids.

JOHN: They say they need the essentials, so I'm thinking some Beatles CDs, some Stones, maybe early Bowie...

DAN: What about... FOOD?
JOHN: Um... sure, I could eat.