Comics with Christina the mom drummer | Page 3 | Bassist Wanted

John’s annual review

JOHN: Why is my mom even here AT ALL?
CHRISTINA: You said that I could run your annual review HOWEVER I wanted.

JOHN: But you didn't even invite ME, Christina!
CHRISTINA: This is how I review students at my SCHOOL, John.

CHRISTINA: Mrs. Romero, he gets very difficult during long rehearsal. Any tips?
JOHN'S MOM: Well, my Johnny gets VERY fussy when he's hungry.
JOHN: I am NOT! Mom! QUIT it!

CHRISTINA: Interesting...
JOHN'S MOM: So I always keep a sugar cookie in my purse...
JOHN: OOO, gimme...

Resolving the melody

RONI: No, John, you can't do that.
JOHN: Do what?

RONI: You ended your song before you resolved the melody!

RONI: You can't DO that!
JOHN: Why NOT?
RONI: You just CAN'T!!
JOHN: I CAN!!
RONI: No, you CAN'T!!!
JOHN: Says WHO?!

RONI: Says MUSIC!!!!
JOHN: I AM music!!!!
CHRISTINA: OK, let's... take a rehearsal break...

The Late Jar

DAN: C'mon, John, I had to WORK, man...
JOHN: NO EXCUSE! Put a dollar in the "Late For Rehearsal" jar!

JOHN: We are a nation of LAWS! Not of MEN!
RONI: We're... not a NATION.
DAN: John, you don't underSTAND...

DAN: He doesn't even WORK... He gets to live off that settlement money from G.E.

DAN: I wish MY dad would run his lawnmower over a loose power line...
CHRISTINA: We are late to rehearsal a LOT...

Gettin’ cashflow positive

DAN: This band needs to be gettin' cashflow positive. QUICK.
RONI: Why don't we sell our demo on our web?
CHRISTINA: Well...

JOHN: No no NO... DANGEROUS... That demo'll BitTorrent in MINUTES!
RONI: I don't think you understand BitTorrent.

JOHN: And we'll be SUED for infringement! And PIRATES will sell FREE COPIES on the STREETS!

RONI: Nor do you understand copyright law, piracy or... basic COMMERCE.
JOHN: Within DAYS we'll be in PRISON selling APPLES for CIGARETTES!

Yelling contest

RONI: All right, fine. We won't sell our demo on the website.
CHRISTINA: No, we won't... cos I already posted the mp3s on our site for FREE.

JOHN: What? WHEN?
CHRISTINA: I tried to tell you earlier, but you cut me off. And I was not going to get into a YELLING contest with you.

JOHN: CHRISTINA! When the fuck did you DO this?! Can we take them DOWN?!
CHRISTINA: Well, Jonathan, I'd be happy to tell you...

CHRISTINA: But I don't really care for your tone of voice.
JOHN: Don't you MOM-TALK me, Christina!! DON'T YOU DARE!!!

Wearing your own t-shirts

CHRISTINA: See? I posted mp3s of our demo last week.
DAN: Hey, that's a cool picture of us!

CHRISTINA: I put that up months ago... Do you guys EVER check the site?
DAN: No, checking your own website is like wearing your own T-SHIRTS.

CHRISTINA: NO! And we SHOULD wear our t-shirts, too...
RONI: We have T_SHIRTS?

DAN: Is our band, like, more successful than I thought?
CHRISTINA: No. We have a LOT of t-shirts...
RONI: Oh GOD... all these BOXES...

Brooklyn Vegan link

CHRISTINA: Whoa, looks like BROOKLYN VEGAN linked to one of our mp3s.
JOHN: Whoa!
DAN: We're FAMOUS! Which one?

CHRISTINA: "Bickerhound"!
JOHN: No no NO! "Bickerhound" is a B-SIDE! "Cathartic TARGET Practice" is our breakout HIT!

JOHN: He needs to change it. Gimme this vegan guy's email number...
CHRISTINA: Jonathan, he can link to whatever he wants to.

JOHN: NO, he'll do what we SAY! WE'RE FAMOUS NOW!
DAN: YEAH! Ha ha!
RONI: You two have an extremely low fame tolerance.

Site’s down

CHRISTINA: Hmm... our site's down. Too many people are trying to download our demo mp3s.
JOHN: WHAT!? What's the fucking point of that?

JOHN: When our website WORKS, no one LOOKS at it, and as soon as people WANT to look at it, it friggin' shuts OFF? Who's our hosting company? O'HENRY?!

Silence.

JOHN: Yeah, that's right... I JUST MADE AN O'HENRY REFERENCE!
RONI: Today is a weird day.
CHRISTINA: Yes.

Whom to damn

CHRISTINA: Looks like our host shut our site down due to the traffic spike from people downloading our demo. We owe $300.
JOHN: Bah! DAMN these fuckin' MUSIC pirates!

CHRISTINA: No one pirated anything. Our hosting company is just charging bandwidth fees.
JOHN: DAMN the HOSTED companies then!

CHRISTINA: No, those are just the terms of our fairly standard contract.
JOHN: Then just... DAMN the transitional period the music industry is currently in!

JOHN: I WANT SOMETHING MORE TANGIBLE TO BE ANGRY AT!!
CHRISTINA: I know, sweetie. I know...

Traffic spike effect

CHRISTINA: Well, our site's traffic has returned to normal, and it looks like about 100,000 people downloaded our demo.

RONI: That's AMAZON!
JOHN: What's the point? They CAME and they LEFT. We got ZERO mailing list signups...

JOHN: And we sold ZERO t-shirts.
CHRISTINA: Actually we sold TWO t-shirts.
DAN: No, I bought those two.

JOHN: Great! We sold NEGATIVE two t-shirts...
DAN: Hey, is there a way for you to not, like, cash my Paypal thing until Friday?